The Road Less Traveled...

Even as homeschooling becomes more mainstream, people are shocked when I tell them I homeschool Reagan, my almost 17 y.o. with Down syndrome.  Most really have a hard time understanding how a mom can educate their child with significant special needs.  They have a hard time understanding why I would even contemplate taking on the task!

I have always tried to make decisions for my children based on their best interests.  Homeschooling was/is the best choice for them. Period.

I know longer defend our choice nor bother to explain it unless someone has a sincere interest.

The less traveled homeschooling road has had some challenges but as we look to the end of the road I only see great joy and beauty in what we have accomplished.  The interesting thing is others see it too...


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Blog Makeover

With GREAT trepidation, I gave my blog a makeover!  All.  By.  Myself!

I love the simple new look!  I love the ease of use of the updated blogger.  I got the courage to take the big step after starting two other blogs:

Special Needs, Special Blessings - Ministry Alongside Individuals with Special Needs

and

Christmas With Amy

Let's see how I keep up with three blogs when I wasn't doing all that well with one!

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When You Can't Find God

 I had a friend come to me recently lost in despair.  She had suffered a great insult which causes her untold pain.  She is grieving the loss of something big in her life.  The details are not important but her pain is very real - so real that she can't find God in the midst of her despair.

I'm not sure why she came to me but she sees me as someone who is safe.  She is a devoted Christian, someone I admire greatly for her ability to show Christ to others -- and she came to me.  It was quite a humbling experience for me for I know I don't have any answers.

I am grateful that she let me share in the depths of her despair.  It is never an easy thing to join intimately in that place that is so full of angst, a place where God is but in our pain we can become blind to His presence.

 What does a Christian do when you can't find God?

Continue to pray.  Even when you can't find God, go through the motions and keep the dialogue going.    There are times in everyone's life where we don't feel the loving presence of God.  We know we are His creation - beloved and cherished children of God.  We are so special to Him that the hairs on our heads are numbered!  We must keep talking and listening with Him...and look for the ways He displays His presence.  We can believe despite the lack of feeling His presence.

Commit your daily walk to Him.  Leave a sticky note on the bathroom mirror that says "Lord, I desire to walk with you today."  When you get up in the morning and brush your teeth, read the sticky note out loud.  When you can't feel His presence, understand He will never leave you.

Put on the Armor of God.  Seriously. Satan senses our weakness in our painful state. I suggest you print this prayer out and tape it the above mirror.  To allow evil to enter into the healing process is to delay it significantly and perhaps forever.

Resolve to spend time in His Word.  Even when the pain you are experiencing leaves you exhausted and weak, open your Bible for new insights and words of comfort in the place where He speaks to us. A few minutes a day will be of great encouragement.  I pray you will find yourself called more and  more to that time with Him in His Word.

Make a decision for forgive.  A rational decision to forgive those who cause us pain is the first step to healing.  Make the decision, ask God to help you - even when you can't find Him.  He will direct your path despite the wall of pain you find yourself surrounded by.

Ask forgiveness.  Sometimes our pain is the result of our own sins.  Confession and absolution great healers.


Give God your pain.  How does one do this?  It is no easy task - I know from experience.  So often we want to hold onto that pain - our little hurts and our big hurts.  Sometimes our hurts are associated with the death of a loved one and we cling to it as if we were clinging to the one we lost.  We know are injured and weak.  Begin with your thoughts in prayer - "Lord, I give you my burden.  It is much to heavy for me.  I need to rest in You." 

Some things needs to be wrestled with in our relationship with God. Sometimes, we can't find God because of our anger with Him.  When there is no one else to blame, we often blame and become angry with God.  Why did He allow this injury/pain to afflict to me?  He is ready for you!  Yell, scream,rant and rage at and with Him.  He is big enough and loves you enough that He is ready to listen and surround you with comfort, strength, and healing.

Trusted friends are vital.  God gives us friends to love and support us on our earthly journeys - to pray with us and for us, to bless us with their ears, hearts and hugs.  When you can't find God, let a friend share His love for you.

Seek prayer support.  Not everyone needs to know the details but surround yourself with prayers and pray-ers.  God knows your needs so ask others to pray for you  and your unspoken needs.

Talk to your pastor.  Pastors can be immensely helpful in counseling your way back to spiritual health and wholeness.  If your pastor isn't gifted in pastoral care (yes, it can happen) an experienced Christian counselor can be helpful.

Knowing and believing are enough. When we can't  find God on our Christian walk it leads to greater suffering and spiritual distress.  As Christians, we believe in the reality of His presence.   He is there.  He surrounds you with comfort and healing.  Our pain can make us feel separated from God but we know that is impossible.

Know and believe and the ability to feel His presence will return.  I know...



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A Different Dream for My Child

Jolene of Different Dream is featuring my blog this week by publishing an interview with me!

From Jolene's blog:

"DifferentDream.com is a gathering place for parents of special needs children. Dads and moms in the hospital with seriously or terminally ill kids feel isolated. So do parents whose children live with mental disabilities or chronic illnesses.
If you’re one of those parents, DifferentDream.com can help you find answers to questions like:

• Why did God let this happen to our child?
• Where do we find strength to deal with this diagnosis?
• How do we navigate life in the hospital?
• How do we juggle life inside and outside the hospital?
• When we take our chronically ill child home, how will we cope?
• What will life be like if our child dies?
• If our child survives, how do we regain a normal life?"

Jolene has written a book - A Different Dream for My Child - Meditations for Critically or Chronically Ill Children which I just started and can hardly put down. Her writing is compelling, real and filled with hope.

Her book is a must have for every parent walking alongside a child with a critical or chronic illness. I hope to share more after I finish the book!

Jolene is also quite active in ministry alongside individuals with special needs.

Here is part one and then part two of the interview.

I am so grateful for the support and advice of others who have traveled this ministry path before me. I have never met people who give so generously of their experiences as those who minister alongside individuals with special needs. Thanks Jolene!

Thank you Lord for all those you put in my path as I work to meet the needs of individuals with special needs and minister alongside them!


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Three Monks on an Island

I ran across this parable this week and it has left me pondering what it means to faith communities in learning to walk alongside people with special needs.

Three Monks on an Island

By Leo Tolstoy

"Three Russian monks lived on a faraway island. Nobody ever went there, but one day their bishop decided to make a pastoral visit. When he arrived, he discovered that the monks didn't even know the Lord's Prayer. So he spent all his time and energy teaching them the "Our Father" and then left, satisfied with his pastoral work. But when his ship had left the island and was back in the open sea, he suddenly noticed the three hermits walking on the water-in fact, they were running after the ship! When they reached it, they cried, "Dear Father, we have forgotten the prayer you taught us." The bishop overwhelmed by what he was seeing and hearing, said, "But, dear brothers, how then do you pray?" They answered, "Well, we just say, 'Dear God, there are three of us and there are three of you, have mercy on us!'" The bishop, awestruck by their sanctity and simplicity, said, "Go back to your land and be at peace."

Many individuals with significant special needs cannot speak or if they do their communication skills may be lacking in some way. Some cannot memorize the prayers that we all know by heart. Prayers that may make us feel closer to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

Are those prayers necessary to have a deep relationship with the Trinity?

This parable displays what we, parents of children with special needs, already know.

Faith is what the heart knows and understands.

Our duty is too teach our children just how much God loves them. They don't necessarily need words to walk in faith and complete God's will for them on earth...

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Our New Educational "Toy" - iPads and Down Syndrome

For some time I've heard about the advantages the iPad has to offer but the cost was prohibitive. I've wasted invested so much money on educational tools/materials that disappointed me that I did a great deal of research before committing to buy.

And I was still unsure.

Do we really need more technology in our house?

We are surrounded by technology which I find all too tempting. In the time it takes me to write this post, I could have burned 300 calories on the treadmill...

Would this tool be of value to an older child with special needs?

Reagan has great verbal skills. She doesn't need a augmentative communication device. Those with younger children with Down syndrome find the relatively inexpensive AAC app, Proloquo2Go, quite valuable.

Would there be enough apps to make the device worth the cost in our homeschool?

Reagan has the basics down and much of what I had read about apps which are useful in education and Down syndrome were applicable to younger individuals.

But then I read Leah's review of iPad apps on her blog, Garden of Eagan, and I felt a bit more positive.

Then our cell phone provider dropped the price of the original iPad dramatically.

That was all I needed!

Reagan loves her iPad! I've found many apps that are fun learning tools. Many incorporate errorless learning in a way that Reagan finds exciting. I've also found apps which build on her communication skills and grammar.

My favorite apps so far are from the Mobile Education Store. These communication apps are inexpensive and interesting for Reagan.

The math apps available seem endless. There seems to be something for every goal I set!

For a comprehensive list of apps for children with special needs, try these sites:

iPhone and iPad Apps for (Special) Education

Complete Guide to Educational and Special Needs Apps

Looking for an iPad for your child? Fill out an application here. Apps for Children with Special Needs exists to help families who cannot afford an iPad.

You might find other resources for funding at Special Needs Apps for Kids

The rest of the family also makes use of Reagan's iPad. I never thought I would enjoy downloading books and reading them on an electronic device. I so love the feel of reading a real book - but having 26 versions of the Bible (free app) in one place can be useful!

Now, I can take my vacation reading in a suitcase minus the weight of the books.

I love this device too! It has proved to be worth its cost and its value will build over time with new apps developed constantly. I'm sure this investment will not be wasted!

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Benefits of Homeschooling Children wtih Special Needs

Yes, we are still homeschooling! I don't write about it much these days though. Reagan, 16 y.o. with Down syndrome, is my only student now. I guess I've been doing this for so long, that it is just our way of life. The struggles are few and the joys many!

This was originally published in 2004 on the Riverbend Down Syndrome Association's website but still works today.

Benefits of Homeschooling Children with Special Needs

The child with special needs can receive the one-on-one teaching that will enable them to grow academically. This cannot be matched in the public school setting.



The program can specifically target the child’s relative strengths and tailor the child’s education in such a way that the system cannot possible match. Homeschooling also allows us to teach subjects not commonly offered in the public school system.



The program designed for them by the person who knows their needs intimately. Your home program will best suit their individual needs. You can create a balanced program that does not sacrifice academic skills for life skills.



The child can learn at his/her own pace to allow their needs to be met properly. Concepts can be taught with the repetition necessary for mastery using a wide variety of materials ensuring success appropriate to the child's needs and developmental age.



The child will have the opportunity for successful learning experiences that will motivate them to develop persistence in learning difficult concepts.



The child learns academic and functional life skills in the best of all venues-real life. Fractions are “important” when it comes time to share a pizza!



The child with special needs can learn where they are safe from peer ridicule. Many children with special needs are the object of peer ridicule because of processing difficulties, difficulty expressing themselves, physical impairments or cognitive challenges. They can make mistakes where it is safe to do so – their own home.



The parent can pick and choose social opportunities. Homeschooled children are not limited to socializing with only their peers. They tend to socialize with children and adults of all ages for a wide variety of experiences. Homeschooled children are less affected by peer pressure.



Character development and behavior issues can be dealt with by providing an environment where limits and consequences are consistently enforced. Homeschooling can offer atmosphere where the choices and consequences are articulated as necessary to make the best choice available and wrong choices can be discussed and dealt with consistently.



The spiritual needs of children with special needs can be met best in our own homes where they will be exposed to the love and word of God. In a world where many of our children seen as "disposable" and somehow less worthy, they need to know that God has a plan for them and loves them unconditionally. God does not make mistakes! "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14, NIV.



The health benefits are tremendous. Children exposed to Early Intervention in group settings and the public school system are constantly exposed to every viral/bacterial illness present in the community. Homeschooled children with special needs can avoid many of these common illnesses until they are older and better able to tolerate them.

If I could only prevent people from "borrowing" my writing. The may rearrange and simplify a bit but....

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For His Glory

Waxing poetic of late.

I am a child of God

Daughter of the King



I am born of Royalty

A servant in my Father's Kingdom



Following the teachings of my Lord and Savior

To love as He loves us



Empowered by the Holy Spirit

Strength for the journey



I know that I am loved

Created in love to love others



Planting seeds

Wherever I go



To make His love known

To all of His creation



Planting seeds

So love can grow



His love brings freedom and joy

In identity joined in Him



My mission is to live, love and serve

Bringing all before the Throne



Love will unite His church

Making the Body of Christ whole



The hope of the crippled, the lame, the blind, the lepers

Love will come to heal



If not on our earthly journey

Eternity awaits



Then the lame will leap like deer and the mute shout with joy

And I will be healed

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Daughter of the King

My daughter does not suffer

From the extra genetic material with which she is blessed

She lives her life enveloped by grace

Freely given by our Creator

She doesn’t suffer because you stare

Her mission is reflect His love

She doesn’t suffer when you don’t respond

She knows the flaw is yours

She knows who she is - a child of God

Created in His image

She knows her role

As His emissary in a sinful, materialistic world

She doesn’t need you to judge

There is only one Judge that matters

One who judges the righteous with mercy and love

And forgives the repentant

She knows the Judgment Day will come

She will face it as she lives life

Basking in His Grace

Entering one of the many mansions

Prepared for those who believe

As a daughter of the King

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The Little Things - Memories of Grandma

I've been doing a little writing for others this week. This summary of the memories of my beloved Grandma who passed away many years ago. Her impact on my life was huge and I hope this is a fitting tribute for a wonderful, Christian woman very dear to my heart. It will be published in a book written by my aunt in the near future.

The Little Things

I’m not much of a detail oriented person. My memories are not filled with details of gatherings - who was there or even what happened unless it was a momentous or tragic occasion. I’ve always looked at, and stored to memory, the big picture.

As I look back on my memories of Grandma, all I see is gentleness and love. In looking at the big picture, I knew Grandma loved me. She loved me in little ways. She greetedme by name each and every time we visited. I was never glossed over in the crowd of grandchildren that gathered frequently at her home. She called me by name and offered some little tidbit that let me know she was keeping up with my life.

As I grew up, we had more grown-up kinds of conversations with a mutuality bound by love of grandmother and granddaughter. We talked mostly about the little things – precious little things. I observed, listened and incorporated what was good and lovely about her.

I only have a picture to recall the details of her face and gentle smile. A smile as lovely as her little garden where life stopped for sips of mint iced tea. A place where I was enveloped by love, could relax and enjoy our time together. The soft scent of roses filled the air as conversation revolved around little things.

I’ll always associate Grandma with Christmas and the gathering of family. A special time filled with love, stories and laughter. We know a few are missing and missed but the love continues on with a sense of their presence no matter where we are.

As Grandma aged and fought a courageous battle with cancer, I was honored and blessed to hold her hand during extremely painful procedures. Her hands were very soft and warm and the tears she cried fell on our hands as she endured pain that few will know. Tears I treasure to this day.

As she became weaker and knew her time was coming, I held her hand as she slipped into a state marked by mumbling and what others saw as confusion. I listened carefully as she talked to God, working out her mistakes with her Lord and Savior. She didn’t mind my presence so I sat at her bedside holding her soft, warm hand in the sterile environment that is life in the hospital basking in the love of Grandma – and her love for God as she prayed and asked forgiveness for her sins.

Certainly those were sad times as we watched this gentle, lovely soul prepare to leave us. It was such a comfort to know she was prepared and ready.

It is in these little things that the big picture tells its story. The story of love and the gentleness of her soul – and everything a grandma should be. Grandma showed me the meaning of this life. It is all about love in the little things and little ways in which we love one another so the big picture can tell the story.

She has gone on ahead to her heavenly home but we know her soul if safe – may she rest in peace and rise in glory...

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