Life Beyond Homeschooling

No, I am not retiring from our homeschooling lifestyle as of yet.  We will continue this homeschooling journey until I know in my heart that we need to seek a new direction.  Reagan is in a prime learning period.  She is picking much up at a rapid pace so we will continue on learning together.

I am encouraged (but not surprised) by studies that show that cognitive skills continue to develop with increasing age in individuals with Down syndrome and, in fact, they may be more developmentally ready to learn when they reach young adulthood.  (Down Syndrome Across the Lifespan, Chapter 7)

So, for right now, we will continue on this path.

Sometimes, my mind travels beyond homeschooling.  I have so loved this period in my life.  What will I do when I do retire?

What will I do with that big hole in my heart left by the passion of living and learning with my girls?

I must admit to some trepidation when my thoughts move to the future.  But not to fear. 

New, strange, exciting things are coming into my life.  For most of my life, I did not believe I had an artsy bone in my body. 

Now, I am driven to write.  In the past, I have written many informational kind of pieces.  I have written much about my passion for homeschooling children with down syndrome.  My free e-book Homeschooling Children with Down Syndrome has been read by over 16,000 people in the various places it is available.

So very grateful for the journey!

I have written many pieces for our regional homeschooling association creating awareness for those of us homeschooling children with special needs.  It has worked.  For the first time in a long time, we will have workshops at our local convention targeting those of us homeschooling children with significant special needs.

Now, I am driven to write stuff that is kind of off the wall for me - creative writing and something akin to poetry.

Now, I am obsessed with my camera and photos - some of which I share here.

All I know is I must create.

I know my work isn't all that good but a new phase has begun and a new path is forming!

Seeking beauty and spreading hope have become my passion.   Perhaps it always has been but now I am driven in a different way.

I want people to know that hope and healing are inevitable.  No matter what the crisis you face - God waits for you to bring Him your heart and soul, your tears and your pain - to give it all to Him.  He will create something new and beautiful of all that we endure here on earth.

I know God is at work in me.  As I transition into a walk on a different path, I find I am not lost but only finding a new direction.

And I find that exciting!

Finding Joy in the Journey...

....when we find ourselves in the desert - times where we experience physical, emotional and/or spiritual dryness.

It is common this time of year to find  homeschool burnout rampant.  Grey skies, inclement weather, deep questions as to how we are fulfilling God's will and the call to homeschool all contribute.

The role we have raising children and homeschooling may come to seem a drudgery at times.  A veil lowers over our hearts and we see little joy in our days.

I know - I've been there, done that.  I've been formally homeschooling for 18 years...

It is not all a bed of roses.

I want to assure you that the joy remains but perhaps muted by our state of mind and heart.  It takes effort for our eyes to see and our hearts to move.

It is an effort worth making!

For the sake of our loved ones, I want to encourage you in the little things which will lead to the big things.  The joy is there waiting for eyes that see and hearts uplifted!


Baby steps, my friends!

A grateful heart

Start the day counting your blessings.  At first it may take some practice if it is not your nature as your body wakes but an invaluable exercise in seeking joy.  I've face some devastating events in my life and I will say I had to "practice" much but that practice lead me to where I am today.

I wake up these days gleeful and grateful that I have another day with my family to seek God's will and live in His grace and mercy.

Pray

Keep the communication open between you and the Lord.  He knows your heart and wants what is best for you and your family.  He is your strength in weakness.

Keep your Bible close

Everything you need to know for the journey is there!  Memorize verses that keep you focused on the Lord and the goal you have set for your family.  My favorite verse this time of year is:

 ^"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."  Philipians 4:8

You've been called to homeschool your children - this verse says it all about the call, the beauty of  living in the call and God's will for your family. 

Include your spouse

Share your journey with all its ups and downs.  Pray together.  Seek strength together.  You were both called to this lifestyle - be there for one another.  


Go through the motions

Keep the structure of your days.  There is comfort in structure.

A counselor once told me to "act as if" and the feelings with follow.  There is so much truth to this!  Mothers are often called to "act" beyond what our human nature has to offer.  At times, we are weary,  patience tested, sleep deprived and yet we continue to respond lovingly to the little ones looking to us for care and nurturing. 

Sometimes we just need to put on a smile on as we greet the day and so very often the feelings will follow.

Take a break

Sometimes, a short break is needed for a hard working, homeschooling mom's spiritual and mental health.  We school year-round so that we can take breaks as necessary.

Time filled with escaping from the routine can be conducive to improving your quality of life when in the throes of burnout.  Sometimes a cup of hot tea and ten minutes uninterrupted will do and, at times, a day or two (or perhaps more) will help you get a better perspective.

Devotionals

I keep a variety of devotionals close at hand for encouragement.  I have two favorites right now.

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young has very short entries for a busy homeschooling mom.  From today's entry:

"I am ever so near you...Let Me be your positive focus.  when you look to Me, knowing Me as God with you, you experience Joy."

Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman.  A book for those of us who tend to spend more time in the desert - especially those of us who homeschool children with special needs.  From the book cover:

"Filled with insight into the richness of God's provision and the purpose of His plan, this enduring classic has encouraged and inspired generations of Christians.

From today's entry in regard to those who struggle:

"Your heavenly Father knows.  (Matthew 6:32)"

"Yes, Father, for this was your pleasure (Matthew 11:26)

 to "claim  an eternal truth upon which the most mature believer, and even the youngest child of God, may securely rest - the truth that God is your Father."

...a loving Father who knows and seeks only good for you...

Journal

Busy homeschooling moms may not have time to journal but expressing your thoughts and feelings in a journal but it is one I highly recommend.  Having a place to give to expression to your joys and trials is so helpful.  Sometimes we need a very safe place to  do some soul searching, let go of our burdens, work out our feelings, make forward progress in things that tug at our hearts and minds.

My only advice is to keep God in your journaling so it may be free of things that may be toxic to your heart and soul.

Seek spiritual direction

Your spiritual health is important!  When one feels they have been in a place of spiritual dryness for way too long and finding it is affecting our relationships, we might consider looking for specialized help.  Sometimes we need to seek some clarity in the form of a spiritual director/mentor or  a pastor.

Good friends

God intends us to live in community with others.  Hopefully, we have a community with others traveling a similar journey.  Reach out and share your burdens and your joys.  What a blessing friends can be!

So, my friends, be encouraged today.  The joy is there.  Take those baby steps to lift the veil that hides it from you.

Which Way?

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

       Ralph Waldo Emerson

These words are so inspiring!  There are so many choices we make in life. Often we tend to take the path of least resistance, the paved path or follow the advice of others.  We forget to take time to really discern what might be best for ourselves and our families.


What IF we choose to spend time in prayerful discernment?

What IF we choose to discern what is best for our family despite the external pressures?

What IF we choose the unmarked path?

When a parent enters into the world of raising a child with special needs, they receive lots of advice - some desired, most not.  Parents are pressured by well-meaning folks who seem to have all the answers.  The Holy Spirit may be whispering the way through the maze and confusion but we can't hear because of all the noise and pressure.

Perhaps the right path for your family is within the system - early intervention, public schools and transition/work programs into adulthood.  A right path for many families.  God is a work within the system too.

Perhaps the right path for your family is working with your child outside the system and targeted intervention.  A path chartered by listening to what God wills for your family and a path designed by God.

Sound scary?

Perhaps, but that fear will fade to be replaced with the confidence engineered by the Holy Spirit.   You will come to understand you really are your child's best teacher. You will see your child learn and grow and his/her own pace. 

God has His own timing and so do our children with special needs.

When you walk in His will, you know peace...

...and your trail marked with blessings.

 *******************************

Speaking of leaving a trail,  if you are interested in homeschooling your child with Down syndrome please look at my free e-book Homeschooling Children with Down Syndrome.  In this book I share much about how children with Down syndrome learn, methods, curriculum tips and more!

A Homeschooling Mom's Heart

I’ve been on this road less traveled for a long time now.  It has been a beautiful journey.  A journey made beautiful because of those I share it with – my children. 

I’ve learned much on the way.  I’ve learned much about the typical and the not quite so typical homeschooling journey.  I’ve learned much about myself too.

Here is the secret of my heart…there is nothing special about me.

Others comment that it must be so because they couldn’t do it.

I wasn’t born to do this.  God called me to it.  He shaped me for the journey as I traveled along the path.  There were many forks along the way and mountains to climb.  Many times I was tired – too tired to go on.  

In obedience, I marched on.

I spent much time in the desert.  There were dry, arid times where I wondered if I’d taken the right path. 

My resolve only grew and I continued on.

I discovered the further I traveled, the easier it became.  The mountains faded away and the forks fewer.  The desert became an oasis.  The landscape was lush and the views magnificent.  A delightful fragrance filled the air.  My efforts began to bear fruit with the sweetest nectar I’ve ever known.

This journey was never about me but the fruits of my labor. 

Considering Homeschooling Your Child with Special Needs?

Parents begin considering homeschooling their child with special needs via a variety of paths.  

Many have homeschooled their children from the beginning.  They seem to be born with a homeschooling heart.

Some are called to it because of their child with special needs.  They understand that the system cannot effectively deal with their child’s special needs to ensure the child learns and grows into the best he/she can be.

Some begin because of difficulties with the school system.  They may be disappointed in their child’s progress.   Some even remove their children emergently because the situation is intolerable for their child.

I’ve listened to them all as they open their hearts and share their stories.  There is one common thread which runs through every parent’s mind as they consider the options.

Anxiety

The discernment period is a time filled with anxiety.  They worry if they can take on such an immense responsibility and do it well.  Even the veteran homeschooling mom experiences anxiety and doubt!

And it is normal.

We all want what is best for our children.  We, more than any system, care about our child’s outcome and will work harder to overcome challenges our children face.  

We all want what is best for our family.  We must consider how the decision to homeschool our child with special needs will affect our other children and spouse. Most homeschooling families naturally incorporate the child with special needs but some don't.  They fear that they cannot meet their child's special educational and/or therapeutic needs.  They worry that homeschooling their child with special needs may affect the education of their typical children.  There may be concerns that the perceived extra burden they are considering may cause increased marital stress. 

The discernment period is a time of prayer. 

We pray that the Holy Spirit will guide us as we do the research needed to make an informed decision.  We need to know as much as possible about our child’s diagnosis and how it affects growth and development – and overall learning.

We pray for others to walk alongside us - listen and share their knowledge and wisdom.  Fortunately, as the number of those  homeschooling their children  has grown, so has the number of those homeschooling children with special needs.  The support is there whether it be local or via the internet.  You will find others to work alongside you during the discernment period.

You might meet some of those people who I know as encouragers and friends.  Most I will never meet in real life but I consider them life-long friends.  We have walked with each other, celebrated with each other and cried together.

What you will learn

In the discernment period, you will come to know that you will be your child’s best teacher.  You know him/her better than anyone else. You have been his/her teacher from birth.  Homeschooling is a natural extension of parenting.

You will learn that homeschooling will not cure your child.  Homeschooling can provide a more optimal learning environment – one in which the child is safe, is encouraged and loved - learns and grows to be the best he or she can be.  In cases of significant challenges, this can be of utmost importance.

You will learn that homeschooling is not the easiest option though some might consider it to be so.  No more IEPs, BIPs, no more struggles to fight for services…

It is a lifestyle that requires perseverance and fortitude. It will challenge and grow you.  It is not for the weak of heart.  There will be tough days.  There may be tough seasons – but isn’t it so as we educate our typically developing children?

As you begin

Your anxiety dissipates.

You will find this path brings great rewards and untold amounts of joy.  There is nothing more rewarding than watching your child  overcome challenges as they master a new task or incorporate a difficult concept.

You learn what it means to walk by faith, not by sight, trusting the Lord will provide!

As I look at my sunset years as a homeschooling mom, I know the path we chose was right for us, good for our children, and the best choice for Reagan - our daughter with Down syndrome.  I have been blessed beyond my dreams by our homeschooling adventure.  I can see how God called me to this, the road less traveled, and then answered prayers as He guided us to fulfill His will for our family.

If He leads us to the road less traveled as a homeschooling family, He will guide us through it and we glorify Him in the process.

I am in awe of what He has accomplished in our family – especially in me.

The Road Less Traveled...

Even as homeschooling becomes more mainstream, people are shocked when I tell them I homeschool Reagan, my almost 17 y.o. with Down syndrome.  Most really have a hard time understanding how a mom can educate their child with significant special needs.  They have a hard time understanding why I would even contemplate taking on the task!

I have always tried to make decisions for my children based on their best interests.  Homeschooling was/is the best choice for them. Period.

I know longer defend our choice nor bother to explain it unless someone has a sincere interest.

The less traveled homeschooling road has had some challenges but as we look to the end of the road I only see great joy and beauty in what we have accomplished.  The interesting thing is others see it too...


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Our New Educational "Toy" - iPads and Down Syndrome

For some time I've heard about the advantages the iPad has to offer but the cost was prohibitive. I've wasted invested so much money on educational tools/materials that disappointed me that I did a great deal of research before committing to buy.

And I was still unsure.

Do we really need more technology in our house?

We are surrounded by technology which I find all too tempting. In the time it takes me to write this post, I could have burned 300 calories on the treadmill...

Would this tool be of value to an older child with special needs?

Reagan has great verbal skills. She doesn't need a augmentative communication device. Those with younger children with Down syndrome find the relatively inexpensive AAC app, Proloquo2Go, quite valuable.

Would there be enough apps to make the device worth the cost in our homeschool?

Reagan has the basics down and much of what I had read about apps which are useful in education and Down syndrome were applicable to younger individuals.

But then I read Leah's review of iPad apps on her blog, Garden of Eagan, and I felt a bit more positive.

Then our cell phone provider dropped the price of the original iPad dramatically.

That was all I needed!

Reagan loves her iPad! I've found many apps that are fun learning tools. Many incorporate errorless learning in a way that Reagan finds exciting. I've also found apps which build on her communication skills and grammar.

My favorite apps so far are from the Mobile Education Store. These communication apps are inexpensive and interesting for Reagan.

The math apps available seem endless. There seems to be something for every goal I set!

For a comprehensive list of apps for children with special needs, try these sites:

iPhone and iPad Apps for (Special) Education

Complete Guide to Educational and Special Needs Apps

Looking for an iPad for your child? Fill out an application here. Apps for Children with Special Needs exists to help families who cannot afford an iPad.

You might find other resources for funding at Special Needs Apps for Kids

The rest of the family also makes use of Reagan's iPad. I never thought I would enjoy downloading books and reading them on an electronic device. I so love the feel of reading a real book - but having 26 versions of the Bible (free app) in one place can be useful!

Now, I can take my vacation reading in a suitcase minus the weight of the books.

I love this device too! It has proved to be worth its cost and its value will build over time with new apps developed constantly. I'm sure this investment will not be wasted!

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Benefits of Homeschooling Children wtih Special Needs

Yes, we are still homeschooling! I don't write about it much these days though. Reagan, 16 y.o. with Down syndrome, is my only student now. I guess I've been doing this for so long, that it is just our way of life. The struggles are few and the joys many!

This was originally published in 2004 on the Riverbend Down Syndrome Association's website but still works today.

Benefits of Homeschooling Children with Special Needs

The child with special needs can receive the one-on-one teaching that will enable them to grow academically. This cannot be matched in the public school setting.



The program can specifically target the child’s relative strengths and tailor the child’s education in such a way that the system cannot possible match. Homeschooling also allows us to teach subjects not commonly offered in the public school system.



The program designed for them by the person who knows their needs intimately. Your home program will best suit their individual needs. You can create a balanced program that does not sacrifice academic skills for life skills.



The child can learn at his/her own pace to allow their needs to be met properly. Concepts can be taught with the repetition necessary for mastery using a wide variety of materials ensuring success appropriate to the child's needs and developmental age.



The child will have the opportunity for successful learning experiences that will motivate them to develop persistence in learning difficult concepts.



The child learns academic and functional life skills in the best of all venues-real life. Fractions are “important” when it comes time to share a pizza!



The child with special needs can learn where they are safe from peer ridicule. Many children with special needs are the object of peer ridicule because of processing difficulties, difficulty expressing themselves, physical impairments or cognitive challenges. They can make mistakes where it is safe to do so – their own home.



The parent can pick and choose social opportunities. Homeschooled children are not limited to socializing with only their peers. They tend to socialize with children and adults of all ages for a wide variety of experiences. Homeschooled children are less affected by peer pressure.



Character development and behavior issues can be dealt with by providing an environment where limits and consequences are consistently enforced. Homeschooling can offer atmosphere where the choices and consequences are articulated as necessary to make the best choice available and wrong choices can be discussed and dealt with consistently.



The spiritual needs of children with special needs can be met best in our own homes where they will be exposed to the love and word of God. In a world where many of our children seen as "disposable" and somehow less worthy, they need to know that God has a plan for them and loves them unconditionally. God does not make mistakes! "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. Praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14, NIV.



The health benefits are tremendous. Children exposed to Early Intervention in group settings and the public school system are constantly exposed to every viral/bacterial illness present in the community. Homeschooled children with special needs can avoid many of these common illnesses until they are older and better able to tolerate them.

If I could only prevent people from "borrowing" my writing. The may rearrange and simplify a bit but....

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General Resources - Homeschooling Children with Special Needs

I was putting this list of resources together for my local homeschooling association this week. Memories came flooding back to the time where I really didn't understand how unique Reagan's needs were. So, in the beginning of our journey,I read everything I could about education and homeschooling children with special needs. In those early days I frequently used NATHHAN's lending library to check out books by mail. That lending library is closed now for reorganization.

I also used our local library to learn about how children with special needs learn. The inter-library loan system brought me many books that were not available locally. I've also purchased many books over the years that helped answer questions about our learners with special needs that were more complex. I felt it was important to understand what I was doing vs. trying to implement a home program that would not lead to an environment conducive to learning or meet my daughter's needs.

This list is from my own personal library:


General Resources for Homeschooling Children with Special Needs


Home Schooling Children with Special Needs, by Sharon C. Hensley

Homeschooling Your Struggling Learner, by Kathy Kuhl

The Way They Learn, Cynthia Ulrich Tobias

Learning to Learn, Carolyn Oliver & Rosemary F. Bowler

Steps to Independence, by Bruce L. Baker and Alan J. Brightman

Road to Independence, Independence Skills Training for Special Needs Children, by Brenda M. Batts

Choosing & Using Curriculum for Your Special Child, by Joyce Herzog

Learning in Spite of Labels, by Joyce Herzog

Strategies for Struggling Learners, by Joe & Connie Sutton

Christian Homes and Special Kids, by Sherry Bushnell and Diane Ryckman

The Child with Special Needs by Stanley I Greenspan, MD & Serena Wieder, Ph.D.

Helping Children Overcome Learning Difficulties by Jerome Rosner

Helps for Special Education Teachers, by Eileen Shaum

Literacy Skill Development for Students with Special Learning Needs by Leslie Broun & Patricia Oelwein

Of course, after I learned just how unique learners with Down syndrome are, I had to start on a whole new course of study on how children with Down syndrome learn. What I learned from the books above was/is quite worthwhile as I progressed to the mentoring stage of my journey. I find I'm always learning as I go and am overjoyed that there is always something more to explore!

Are there important resources that I have overlooked? I'd love to hear what has helped you most!

Uninspired - AKA Homeschool Burnout

A repost from 2010 because it is that time of year...

A place I know very well. Late January and February bring me to this place where I feel totally uninspired – also known as burnout. I know I’m not alone. Many homeschooling moms experience a sense of burnout this time of year.

What is homeschool burnout?

Perhaps life is not quite so enjoyable. In fact, you might find all your emotions rather muted. Irritability is common. Also feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, discouraged or possibly even depressed. Symptoms will vary with each individual. The key is to be aware of the likelihood of its occurrence before it impacts the family and your homeschool.

What contributes to this sense of burnout?

For us northerners who face shorter, cloudy days, bitter cold, ice and snow, the weather plays a big part in our feelings of isolation from others. It is just a reality that social gatherings and field trips decrease because of the weather.

We’ve got half of the school year under our belts. Most of the homeschooling moms I know see this time as a time that we question what we have chosen to do with our children. We question our goals and the effectiveness our role as homeschooling mothers. We question the effectiveness of our choices. We ask ourselves questions and ruminate beyond the necessary and useful point. Are we doing enough? Are we meeting our goals? Do we need to make changes?

Most homeschooling mothers have high expectations for themselves. They often find there is never enough time in the day for all they want to accomplish – with school, parenting, discipline, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. Homeschooling is a very task-oriented lifestyle lending itself to burnout.

Homeschooling Children with Special Needs

Taking the responsibility for homeschooling a child with special needs may intensify our feelings of burnout. After all, this is a huge responsibility – our efforts will impact our child's future functional competence. We don’t have a system to rely on or blame.

We often find ourselves comparing out children with others with a similar diagnosis in our own community whether it be in our homeschooling community or perhaps even a child in the school system. Are they doing better? Did I make the right choice? Would my child be better off in the system with all its supports?

Burnout - What can we do?

Burnout is a nasty place to be. The remedies:

1. Anticipate burnout.

Burnout is common in homeschooling moms. Anticipate it and you’ve almost won the battle!

2. Take a good look at your priorities.

Be sure that you are in fact keeping them in the right order.
-Am I spending enough time with God in prayer and with His Word?
-Am I giving enough time to my husband? In giving you will receive.
-Are my children’s basic and educational needs being met?

3. After reassessing priorities, choose carefully where you get involved outside the home.

It is common for others to think just because you homeschool you are available to meet their needs and the needs of the community during school hours. Practice saying no or I'm sorry I just can't do it -- without explanations.

4. Quit second guessing God.

Most of us who are called to homeschool are led there by a loving Father. If He leads us here, He will provide all that we need to accomplish His goals for us and our family.

5. Remember why you homeschool.

Keep your goals for your children close and in the proper perspective. Are you homeschooling to instill proper morals and values? Are you homeschooling because you believe you and your family are contributing to the need for more strong soldiers for Christ? Do you think you can provide a better education for your children than the system can provide? Do you have a child with special needs who thrives in your homeschool environment? Worthy goals - keep your eye on the prize! I've graduated one well-rounded young lady who, with her natural gifts, will contribute greatly where ever she is planted. It was worth every second!

6. Take good care of you.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise and get proper sleep. Your world will be a better place.

7. Don’t compare your children

Don't compare them with each other, family members or those in the community - especially if they have special needs. This is probably one of THE most destructive thing any parent can do. Compare them only to themselves. Are they working towards goals that are reasonable and obtainable? Are they making progress? Sometimes it is essential to look at the baby steps they might be taking toward a long sought after goal to find success. Find it and celebrate it!

8. Work at changing your thought patterns.

-If you are often finding yourself discouraged and down, try to focus on your blessings. Are you children healthy, clean, fed – physically, emotionally spiritually ready for learning? If that is the case, then learning will occur. They may not learn all that is on your agenda for the day but they will be open to the experiences and opportunities provided.
-Wake up with a thankful heart. Thank God for the opportunities that He will place before you as the day unfolds.
-Pray for your children and ask God to bless your day together.
-Thank God for them and the joy they bring – even when they are bickering.
-Verbalize all you find in the day to be thankful for. Soon you will find your children doing the same and the joy is multiplied!

9. Learn to live with dust bunnies.

One of the hardest things for me as a homeschooling mom was letting go of my need for a clean, tidy house all the time. I am a recovering neat freak. I am a recovering neat freak living with people who don’t see what the fuss is about. They are right of course.

10. Schedule flexibility.

That's right - if you are the obsessive-compulsive type like me who has a daily schedule, put a little flexibility in your schedule. Leave time for spontaneity and discover the joys!

11. Delight in the little things.

A cup of hot tea or hot chocolate with instructions that mama is taking a few minutes of time out and take it. My homeschooling friend, Amy, puts on her red tennis shoes every morning because they bring her a sense of delight – every day.

12. Make time for the things you enjoy and that refresh you.

Whether it be a good book or a hobby - do it.

13. Make a list of things to look forward to

-Schedule a date night with hubby – even if it has to be in your own home.
-How about a game night with the kids?
-An occasional mom’s night out with friends. Real life friends are important.
-A special dinner once a week with all your favorite foods.

14. Make a list of projects to take on.

I usually have a winter project because we spend more time at home. Even if it is just a closet or a few drawers, it is something outside the daily routine. It makes me feel productive in a different way. Involve the kids and it will be more fun! I don’t know if the kids will find my winter project fun – stripping the kitchen wall paper – but you never know.

15. Explore curriculum choices.

Most of us have homeschooling conventions on the horizon. Take the time to get excited about next year, investigate new options/curriculum choices and make plans on where you want to spend your time in the vendor hall.

16. Seek out the homeschooling community on the internet for support.

There are so many wonderful places to find support on the internet - way to many to list but you might try The Swap, The Homeschool Lounge, Heart of the Matter Online, The Homeschool Village, or the The Christian Homeschool Hub when you can't meet with your local homeschoolers for support and fellowship. I doubt you can find a homeschooler that has not experienced burnout. Let others share their ideas to get through this season.


Alas, I’m feeling inspired once again. I'm off to work through the list!

Homeschooling Children with Special Needs - Local Support Groups

Most of us who make the decision to homeschool our children with special needs belong to online support groups. We find valuable support and information from those who have walked a similar path before us. We find out what has worked (or not worked) for others related to our child’s specific diagnosis. Quite often, others will cheer our successes and offer sincere empathy as we struggle.

Often times, we find ourselves isolated in garnering support as we struggle to learn how to best approach meeting the needs of our child with special needs.. Just mom cozying up to the pc can be very lonely. Smiley faces and cyberhugs can only go so far

Creating or joining a local support group with others who homeschool their child/children with special needs can fulfill many needs – in our own lives and the lives of those on a similar journey:

Participating in such a group can improve our homeschooling environment. A teaching parent who is supported in real life is a better parent and teacher.

Occasional time away from our loved ones in a relaxing environment is good for our mental health. Twenty-four hours a day of parenting, caring for out children and spouse, homeschooling, dealing with special needs, cleaning and cooking can be draining without an occasional refreshment of socializing with other parents who understand.

The insights of others further along the path are invaluable.

Sharing the burdens and the joys lightens our load.

Prayer (and other) support immediately available.

Sharing resources in a group setting is often helpful and can save money.

New friends! Some parents with children with special needs find their friends have fallen away as they deal with those special needs. Friendships are essential and perhaps easier to maintain with those who want to understand or do understand our journey.

So, what does it take to start a support group for those homeschooling children with special needs?

A call to ministry for a few moms. I think it might be difficult to shoulder the responsibilities involved in creating such a group by any one individual. At the very least, 2-3 moms (and/or dads) should be involved.

Prayer support for those called to leadership. We are all busy educating and nurturing our families. Those who are called to leadership do more than just showing up. Ask others to pray for you.

Advertise in your local homeschooling associations newsletter and e-mail groups. There are others out there traveling a similar path. You don’t have to do this alone.

Have a location – preferably not in a member’s home. A church hall or local eatery should work. We don’t want any of the parents to stress about a meeting in their home that is supposed to be a stress reliever.

Decide how frequently you would like to meet. Is monthly too often? Is every other month not enough? I think you will find people rotating in and out depending on their family schedule and babysitting availability.

Decide on a purpose for the group. Is it a casual meeting with no agenda and focused on fellowship? Is there a general topic (ie. sensory issues) for each meeting? Could one member share their journey and then take questions? Don’t forget to ask fellow parents what they would like to learn about and what their needs are – brainstorm! Even when the group deals with a wide variety of special needs, there is much common ground for fruitful discussion and mutual support.

Jump on in and make it happen!

I am not an expert on forming support groups. No references to turn to – only a tiny bit of experience. Our local homeschooling group for families with special needs is still in its infancy – about a year and a half old. We are learning as we go, providing as we can.

Care to share what has worked or not worked for you local homeschooling children with special needs support group? I would love to hear from you!

The Homeschooling Community and Supporting Homeschoolers with Children with Special Needs

Matthew 25: 31-46

In every homeschooling community you will find homeschoolers educating children with special needs. You may not see a lot of them but they do exist.

Why don’t you see them?

They may not be comfortable bringing their child with special needs to events and gatherings due to social, behavioral and/or physical issues.

They may be using all their available energy to meet the needs of their family and their child with special needs.

They may not feel their children are accepted as fully participating members of the community.

Does the homeschooling community have a responsibility to nurture and support those homeschooling children with special needs?

The homeschooling community is primarily made up of Christian families. Jesus welcomed – even healed - many people with special needs. He gave them His time and attention. Why should the Christian homeschooling community be any different?

Many of these families are already a part of the homeschooling community. Their children with special needs should be welcomed into the community as every other child is welcomed.

Individuals with special needs are an often marginalized segment of society. They are often excluded because they look and/or act differently. Much of society doesn’t value those with significant needs and/or cognitive challenges. In fact, many with known genetic syndromes are aborted in utero. Babies created in Him image disposed of as useless tissue!

Let the homeschooling community be different. Embrace those with special needs and their families as Jesus would!

What you, as an individual, can do:

In every homeschooling community you will find many who would love to support those homeschooling children with special needs but aren’t sure what they can do.

1. Acknowledge we are dealing with more than the typical homeschooling family.

We acknowledge that every child is special but we do deal with challenges beyond the typical family which impact our lives, our marriages, our typically developing children and our relationships in the community. Often times, we work endlessly to find ways to meet the needs of our child with special needs and spend many more hours per day meeting that child’s needs to helping him/her reach beyond their challenges.

2. Keep a mental list of those you meet in the homeschooling community with children with special needs.

When you meet someone who homeschools a child with special needs, ask them if they know so and so who also homeschools a child with special needs. Those relationships can provide invaluable support.

3. Do not be afraid to approach the family.

Many people just don’t know what to say or do. Let us lead the way for you. As you get to know the family, you will probably be surprised by the blessings they know as a parent of a child with special needs.

You will discover that our lives are more than our child's diagnosis. We, as a family, are just like your family. Beyond the challenges we face, are the same dreams and hopes for our children...and we share many of the same problems.

4. Don't be afraid to inquire about the child’s special needs.

Most families are quite willing to share – they live with those special needs day in and day out.

5. Do not be afraid of the child with special needs.

They may look different or act differently but they are always children first. The nonverbal child will appreciate a smile, a light touch and friendly conversation – just like every other child. Some children will have ‘invisible’ special needs and are also in need of your support and understanding.

6. Educate your children about our special blessings and encourage friendships.

It is important for children with special needs to have friendships with typically developing children. Children with special needs learn a great deal from peer relationships. There peers will learn a great deal about befriending those who really are more like them than different and valuing all of God's creation.

7. Include the family openly and lovingly in homeschooling group activities.

Your kindness will be deeply appreciated.

8. Allow us the opportunity to educate your co-op, field trip group, and/or social group on the special needs of our child.

This may help others feel more comfortable with our children. We hope they will be valued for who they are and not their diagnosis…and included as fully as possible.

9. Mentoring opportunities.

Older typically developing children can be of great assistance to the family homeschooling a child with special needs during group activities. Having an older buddy guide them through those activities has many mutual benefits.

10. Do remember the siblings.

At times, people forget about the devoted siblings. Growing up alongside a child with special needs comes with many blessings but sometimes they need to be acknowledged for who they are individually. No one really wants to be known only as the sibling of the child with special needs.

11. Invite the parents out or over for an occasional social activity.

We need to just be grownups sometimes and away from our daily responsibilities.

12. If you are so called, offer respite care on occasion.

An hour or two on occasion will provide refreshment for the overwhelmed parent. Perhaps you have a teen willing to be trained in meeting the family’s needs for a short time. Helping with some light household tasks or entertaining a toddler will be huge for a family dealing with a child with special needs.

13. Do not feel sorry for us.

We don’t need sympathy when, for the most part, we are abundantly blessed! Most often we just need fellowship but there are episodic times of grieving for those raising children with special needs.

14. Empathy is genuinely needed at times.

Offer your ear and an open heart when we do struggle. Sometimes we just might need someone to listen. Even if you can’t truly understand, a compassionate heart might be all that is needed.

15. Pray for our families as you feel led.

We all need prayer but we might have different specific needs.

What can the greater homeschooling community do?

This needs to be a ministry to an often marginalized group of families. A little extra effort to support our families will go a long way.

Don’t expect those homeschooling children with special needs to have the time and energy to give to the greater community on a regular basis. They are too often overwhelmed by what they have been called to do – especially in the early years where they are dealing with their child’s diagnosis, seeking answers to why their child isn’t developing typically, frequent visits to physicians and/or therapists, dealing with behavioral challenges and meeting the needs of the rest of their family. This is the time when support is needed most.

Some other suggestions:

• Acknowledge that families homeschooling children with special needs exist – then ask how you can support them.
• Have special needs resources in your local homeschooling library or keep of list of print resources for referral.
• Have links to special needs resources on the internet on your homeschooling association’s website.
• Also include links to local, state and national support groups for those homeschooling children with special needs..
• Seek out those who homeschool children with special needs as mentors for those inquiring about homeschooling their child with special needs.
• Print an occasional article about homeschooling children with special needs in your newsletters.
• Think about convention support. There are many speakers available to support the homeschooling and special needs community.
  

I promise you will be blessed in giving a little or a lot. When you reflect God’s love for all of His creation – especially those with special needs – you will discover a heart more inclined to love as Jesus calls us to love. Bless and be blessed!

FAQs Homeschooling Children with Down Syndrome and Other Special Needs

Over the years, I've been asked many questions about homeschooling children with special needs. I thought I would post the most frequently asked questions just in case you needed to know!

Is it legal to homeschool children with Down syndrome and other special needs?

Homeschooling is legal across the U.S. – even for children with special needs. The level of accountability varies state to state so it is good to know the law and level of accountability of the state in which you live.

Why do parents decide to homeschool their child with special needs?

Many families I know are already firmly ensconced in the homeschooling lifestyle when their child with special needs is born. Some are medically fragile. Others research homeschooling knowing their child will face obstacles to learning that may be better targeted at home. Some come to homeschooling because of difficulties they have experienced in the public school system

Don’t you need special training to educate a child with special needs?

Many parents I know that have turned to homeschooling with a degree in special education say that their degree is often a hindrance! In getting their degree, they are often given the big picture but it doesn’t help them homeschool their child with special needs.

Is there a special curriculum for homeschooling children with special needs?

The short answer is - not really. Curriculum choices should be based on the unique needs of each child. I would encourage you to look outside the homeschooling world for those children with significant special needs. There is a great deal out there to choose from.

The longer answer: Many known syndromes and disorders are associated with known behavioral traits. These traits give us a profile of strengths and weaknesses that we can target to create better learning environments. For example, children with autism are known to have communication and social deficits – part of their phenotype. Therefore, they need specific teaching in social skills presented primarily visually to impact learning.

Homeschooling children with special needs takes creativity in adapting what is available to the child's strengths and weaknesses.

How about special curricula for children with Down syndrome?

Down syndrome is the most researched of all causes of intellectual disability. Much is known about the strengths and weaknesses of children with Ds. Therefore, there are targeted interventions known to help them learn. Researchers are working to provide tools and curriculum to aid learning – much of it targeting early learners.

See:
Bob Jones University Press Adapted Curriculum (send me an e-mail for more information)
See and Learn
Numicon
Down Syndrome Foundation of Orange County Learning Program

Where do I go for information and support?

I would suggest you seek out others homeschooling children with the same diagnosis as your child. It is great to have face to face support so check out your local homeschooling association. The internet is also a great place to find others for support. Yahoo Groups has a support for almost anything you can think of! Just type homeschooling and ____ (fill in the blank with your child’s diagnosis) into the search engine and you will most like find a group to provide information and support.

How do I know if my child is learning?

You know your child best and you will become very familiar with what they know and what they are learning as you see them implement the knowledge they have learned. Many families use a developmental and/or academic skills inventory to help them set goals and display learning progress.

See:
VORT (my favorite)
The Brigance

Where do I start?

Right where you child is functioning – then build up the skills he/she has. Many families use one of the above developmental skills inventories to gauge where their child is functioning and choose curriculum that fits their learning style. Learning styles are important in children with special needs in targeting their individual learning needs.

What about professionals?

I believe professionals can be an invaluable resource in supporting homeschooling families – if they are well educated in the child’s diagnosis, targeted interventions….and have the child’s best interests at heart. We have found it most beneficial to search the private sector for professional help. Those within the system tend to be bogged down by the system and not as interested in the individual with special needs and their family.

Have you heard of the neurodevelopmental approach?

Many homeschoolers use neurodevelopmental consultants to develop very specific home programs for their children. Neurodevelopmentalists design a program to build on the neurological framework to support skill development. This in contrast to mainstream approaches which are skills based.

See:
NACD: National Association for Child Development
Hope and a Future Linda Kane
ICAN: International Christian Association of Neurodevelopmentalists

Note: I am not necessarily recommending the neurdevelopmental approach (lack of peer-reviewed research) but many parents of children with Down syndrome and other special needs find their services beneficial - especially in the areas of reading and memory. Having not used this approach, I really have no opinion - just awareness of the support families get using their services.

Do I need legal protection?

Legal protection is a sensitive and somewhat controversial subject. Homeschoolers can become a target of well-meaning public school authorities and social workers. Homeschoolers with children with special needs can be particularly vulnerable. In my opinion the persecution of homeschoolers is pretty rare. Research the need carefully - no one wants to be caught unaware.

Home School Legal Defense Association
Pacific Justice Institute
National Home Education Legal Defense
The Rutherford Institute

What about socialization?

I think what most concerns most people considering homeschooling their child with special needs is not socialization (the process by which the norms and standards of our society are passed from one generation to another) but socializing – the gathering for communal activities where friendships are formed. I have found the homeschooling community THE most inclusive of communities and the opportunities for socializing are endless and not a problem.

Any other questions?