Finding Joy in the Journey...

....when we find ourselves in the desert - times where we experience physical, emotional and/or spiritual dryness.

It is common this time of year to find  homeschool burnout rampant.  Grey skies, inclement weather, deep questions as to how we are fulfilling God's will and the call to homeschool all contribute.

The role we have raising children and homeschooling may come to seem a drudgery at times.  A veil lowers over our hearts and we see little joy in our days.

I know - I've been there, done that.  I've been formally homeschooling for 18 years...

It is not all a bed of roses.

I want to assure you that the joy remains but perhaps muted by our state of mind and heart.  It takes effort for our eyes to see and our hearts to move.

It is an effort worth making!

For the sake of our loved ones, I want to encourage you in the little things which will lead to the big things.  The joy is there waiting for eyes that see and hearts uplifted!


Baby steps, my friends!

A grateful heart

Start the day counting your blessings.  At first it may take some practice if it is not your nature as your body wakes but an invaluable exercise in seeking joy.  I've face some devastating events in my life and I will say I had to "practice" much but that practice lead me to where I am today.

I wake up these days gleeful and grateful that I have another day with my family to seek God's will and live in His grace and mercy.

Pray

Keep the communication open between you and the Lord.  He knows your heart and wants what is best for you and your family.  He is your strength in weakness.

Keep your Bible close

Everything you need to know for the journey is there!  Memorize verses that keep you focused on the Lord and the goal you have set for your family.  My favorite verse this time of year is:

 ^"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."  Philipians 4:8

You've been called to homeschool your children - this verse says it all about the call, the beauty of  living in the call and God's will for your family. 

Include your spouse

Share your journey with all its ups and downs.  Pray together.  Seek strength together.  You were both called to this lifestyle - be there for one another.  


Go through the motions

Keep the structure of your days.  There is comfort in structure.

A counselor once told me to "act as if" and the feelings with follow.  There is so much truth to this!  Mothers are often called to "act" beyond what our human nature has to offer.  At times, we are weary,  patience tested, sleep deprived and yet we continue to respond lovingly to the little ones looking to us for care and nurturing. 

Sometimes we just need to put on a smile on as we greet the day and so very often the feelings will follow.

Take a break

Sometimes, a short break is needed for a hard working, homeschooling mom's spiritual and mental health.  We school year-round so that we can take breaks as necessary.

Time filled with escaping from the routine can be conducive to improving your quality of life when in the throes of burnout.  Sometimes a cup of hot tea and ten minutes uninterrupted will do and, at times, a day or two (or perhaps more) will help you get a better perspective.

Devotionals

I keep a variety of devotionals close at hand for encouragement.  I have two favorites right now.

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young has very short entries for a busy homeschooling mom.  From today's entry:

"I am ever so near you...Let Me be your positive focus.  when you look to Me, knowing Me as God with you, you experience Joy."

Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman.  A book for those of us who tend to spend more time in the desert - especially those of us who homeschool children with special needs.  From the book cover:

"Filled with insight into the richness of God's provision and the purpose of His plan, this enduring classic has encouraged and inspired generations of Christians.

From today's entry in regard to those who struggle:

"Your heavenly Father knows.  (Matthew 6:32)"

"Yes, Father, for this was your pleasure (Matthew 11:26)

 to "claim  an eternal truth upon which the most mature believer, and even the youngest child of God, may securely rest - the truth that God is your Father."

...a loving Father who knows and seeks only good for you...

Journal

Busy homeschooling moms may not have time to journal but expressing your thoughts and feelings in a journal but it is one I highly recommend.  Having a place to give to expression to your joys and trials is so helpful.  Sometimes we need a very safe place to  do some soul searching, let go of our burdens, work out our feelings, make forward progress in things that tug at our hearts and minds.

My only advice is to keep God in your journaling so it may be free of things that may be toxic to your heart and soul.

Seek spiritual direction

Your spiritual health is important!  When one feels they have been in a place of spiritual dryness for way too long and finding it is affecting our relationships, we might consider looking for specialized help.  Sometimes we need to seek some clarity in the form of a spiritual director/mentor or  a pastor.

Good friends

God intends us to live in community with others.  Hopefully, we have a community with others traveling a similar journey.  Reach out and share your burdens and your joys.  What a blessing friends can be!

So, my friends, be encouraged today.  The joy is there.  Take those baby steps to lift the veil that hides it from you.

More than I ever dreamed...

This gift is now eighteen!

I often look at her and wonder just where the time went.  Not all that long ago a sweet newborn, then a charming little girl and now a beautiful young lady.

So many ways I am blessed...

She is a wonderful friend and companion.  She listen's, hears and sometimes reads the hearts of others with an uncanny,  intuitive ear.

She is grateful in the little things as well as the big things.  Where gratitude lives, joy flows and it flows deep and wide here.

She has a beautiful spirit - filled with love and charity.  She has always been the first to respond to another's needs whether it be a kind word, a hug or a prayer.

Her love is unconditional and freely given.  Whether it be a friend,  the cashier at the grocery store or a the homeless man on the curb, she sees, she hears, she responds in love.

She is the first to say I am sorry when she has done wrong and the first to try to make a situation better - just because it is the right thing to do.   Mending wrongs and weaving forgiveness into every situation that calls for it.

This image-bearer gets it right.  Love is all that matters.

She lives in love, loves, and reflects love.

Do I grieve for who she is not in the eyes of this world?

I cannot.

Because who she is, is more than I ever dreamed.

Living Dreams in Fleeting Moments

What did you dream for your unborn children?

Most people think about gender, hair/eye color,  the nursery...

They may pray the baby they carry is healthy.

What did you do of when your child safely entered the world?

Most get a beautiful healthy child on delivery

Marvel at the perfection of the gift before them.  

They cry tears of joy

And share their wonderful news.  

Then they move on dreaming typical dreams

Play dates, dance lessons, t-ball practice, schools...

Their children grow and develop as typical children do.

What if...

...your child is born with a severe heart defect?

...your child is born with Trisomy 18?

...your child is born anacephaly?

Grief envelops your heart

Dreams evaporate

Prayers change

A new reality forms

You learn to live in the moment

Because the next might not come

Every moment is the dream

Making it last as long as it can

Imprinting precious memories

Of fleeting life and love

On your heart

To carry with you to eternity

Where hope lives

Hope and Healing

Some suffer much

Fresh tragedy

Love gone

Lost and alone

 

Awash with tears

  

Wretched pain

 

Constricts the heart

 
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 Some suffer long

Some by choice

Nurturing their wounds

Living in the past

Refusing to let go

Of days of old


Deeply scarred
 

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Hope hidden

Hope forgotten
 
Haunted by grief 

 

Heart turned to stone

Lost in bitterness
 
Impervious to Love

The soul withers
 

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 A distant knock

A fluttering of the heart

Slight movement of the soul

Touched by Word or Spirit

Aware or  not

Of the Father waiting


To enter in
 

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Then a whisper

An inkling of hope

Light floods the darkness

Hope and healing enter in

Worked by the Holy Spirit

Sight restored, Truth revealed

The soul transformed


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A child of God emerges

 Healed and whole

Knowing his heritage

Is not of this life

But found in Eternity

Heart Overflowing

Basking in Grace 
 

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Ransomed, redeemed

Cleansed by the blood of the Lamb

Walking in the Light

Where fear cannot live

The past irrelevant

In communion with the Father

Consumed by Love

He Waits - Encouragement in Sorrow

This I know as truth

As well as I know adversity

I know the road less traveled

Is never traveled alone

Even in my most solitary moments

I know He waits

I feel His presence

I know His healing touch

He waits with great longing

For me

Me - His beloved

With my big sorrows and little sorrows

He waits...

With love enough to heal

Just as He waits for you

With deep longing

He calls you by name

A still, small voice

Come to me, my child

I am the source of all

Which is called Love

I came

To take away all  sorrow

To dry your tears

To envelop you in comfort

Heal you in union

With me

Filling the place of sorrow

With love

And a promise that what is lost

Will be found again

In a reunion in Heaven

Heart Work

As I sat with other moms who have children with special needs last night, I pondered how our lives were different from those raising typically developing children.  Specifically, about the extraordinary heart work that burdens us at times.

They ponder difficult questions -  questions that most parents do not have to entertain for our children of significant intellectual disabilities.

Our children: 

Most likely will never live alone.

Most won’t drive a car.

They are more susceptible to others who would take advantage of them in evil ways.

The list goes on and on…

We still have dreams and hold on to the dreams of our children.

…and fears for their future.

As a group we ponder the questions:

What am I going to do when…

How will I handle this…

What about those who do not understand…

Tough questions with nebulous answers if any.  We will do our best with what we have to work with and the hope that the hand of God is displayed in our response.

We understand what the future holds to a certain degree.  We grieve and rejoice.  There are tears and laughter.

We are secure in knowing that the Lord will provide what He desires for our loved ones to complete their ministry on earth.

Yet our fears remain out of our own brokenness and the brokenness of the world.

I am honored to know these women.  I am blessed by their transparency and their profound faith.

For the reader who is isolated and feeling alone on this journey as the parent or caretaker of an individual with special needs please find a community in which you can share and be encouraged and strengthened for the journey.

Here is a great place to start

Not Alone - Where Special Parents Find Community 

Homeschooling Children with Down Syndrome

I don't go around promoting my  e-book, Homeschooling Children with Down Syndrome, so I thought I would remind you that it is still out there and still FREE.  It amazes me that it has had almost 13, 000 reads on Scribd.

If you haven't looked at it yet, I can tell you that it is based on what researchers tell us about how children with Down syndrome learn and is packed with suggestions on how to promote learning in our children.  My book is not only for homeschooling families but for all parents with an interest in how children with Down syndrome learn.  You will see my passion for homeschooling in the book but I hope you will also see my passion for all children with Down syndrome.  We all advocate in different ways for our children and this is what my advocacy has grown into.  This book has been my mission and ministry for almost 18 years now.  I didn't know it would grow into a book but with the prompting of the Holy Spirit it has and I hope you will find it useful in growing your children into the best that they can be!

We took a little time off this summer from formal learning but we are now happily back at work.  Reagan comes with joy to the learning table and thrives in her learning environment.  I feel hugely blessed to grow with her as the years go by.  One can only be humbled and grateful when set on this road less traveled...

Research - Targeted Intervention in Children with Down Syndrome

If you follow this blog and have read my free e-book, Homeschooling Children with Down Syndrome you know I am passionate about sharing what I've learned about how children with Down syndrome learn.  Much of my research has led me to believe that targeted intervention is the key to learning success in children with Down syndrome.  New evidence in coming out in support of the research of many:

Landmark research study shows targeted intervention improves the reading and language skills of children with Down syndrome

If you are interested in following the research into how we can improve the lives of those with Down syndrome, you can find the RSS feed from Down Syndrome Education International on their website.  You can also follow them on twitter and facebook

I think soon I'll make public the summary of what I have learned about education and Down syndrome.  It is much more comprehensive than my e-book!

Righting Wrongs - Healing from Adversity

In my last post, Loving My Life, I shared briefly much of the adversity I have faced and how a grateful heart turns sadness into contentment - even joy!  As I ponder the path I've taken, the person I've become and the life I'm blessed with, I look at the lessons I've learned along the way.

The greatest lesson I've learned is to look for the lesson!  There is always something to learn from our circumstances and work to make something good come out of adversity.  This introspective self (me) ponders circumstances naturally.  I was born that way and can't seem to shake it.

Yes, I had a difficult childhood.  My children only know safety, stability, love and affection. My childhood made me determined not to repeat history.  A wrong righted!

In my experience, righting wrongs brings healing. To remain a victim of circumstances may possibly perpetuate the cycle of abuse and contribute to depression.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not a perfect parent.  I get tired, distracted, cranky.  I even raise my voice on occasion - mostly because of my own state of mind.  But my intention and focus is on not repeating the mistakes of my parents, and their parents, and their parents...

My parents had multiple affairs during my childhood and young adult stages. The ripples of pain flowing out of adultery affected me deeply.  I've made my marriage a priority.  I vowed early on to making my home a home where faithfulness is true and love and peace reign.  A place that is to be an escape from the madness that the rest of the world has become.  I know the sweetness of a good marriage, to a good man who shares my love for the Lord.  I find that an amazing gift - for our whole family. 


We don't live perfect lives.  I and aware of and understand much of my brokenness in the little things and the big things.   We are called to live and serve in a broken world.  It is impossible to serve effectively unless we understand our own brokenness.  Otherwise, we place ourselves above the broken and are unable to truly serve.

I've known devastation in the death of my children - but therein lies my strength.  What God put together in me as a new creation, reborn from devastation, was woven in Him and by Him.  I am, not by my own strength, but by His.  I faced the worst with Him and have been healed through Him.  God is good.  All that flows from Him is good and because of that I know a miracle!

I am the miracle.

My husband, children on earth and my children in heaven would want me to be healed and whole - and to tell the story of God's love for them and our family.  Perhaps I didn't get my prayers answered as Michelle was dying or for the wee one I only knew in the love and anticipation of another child growing in my womb but God loved us through all the joyful as well as the pain, sadness and healing.

I am a better mother, wife and friend because of adversity.

God is not the cause of pain and suffering.  A sinful, fallen world is the cause of all pain and suffering.     Our God, The Great Physician, is the source of healing.

I am assured of His continuous presence and know that He loves me in my angst and in my contented state.  An ever faithful God who loves unconditionally, heals without hesitation and bestows grace and mercy to all.  He calls us beyond our circumstances tell His story.  Love, healing and miracles require a response beyond gratitude.  I would love to hear your story!

Loving My Life

I have been wearing my I love my life* t-shirt quite often these days.  It brings me great joy to display my contentment with life.  People will often smile at me comment on my shirt as if they understand.  I often wonder about their stories but usually the opportunity doesn't present itself to take the time to converse.  

I've often pondered how I would  describe the breadth and depth of that which makes up this time and place in my life so wondrous and beautiful.  If it were a tapestry, it would be woven with rich colors giving it a dimension that I think few know.  Some will not have the life experiences I know or  perhaps they feel burdened by what life has placed before them.

I understand that place too.  I've been there.

I knew a childhood filled with periods of poverty, dysfunction, abuse and pain.  I was never to know what childhood is.

I've plumbed the depths of  grief after the devastating loss of my firstborn.  A subsequent miscarriage took me back to that all too familiar place.

I understand the uncertainty of serious personal illness.

I know parenting of two children with profound disabilities.  I know their struggles.  I know their pain.

I could be a vastly different person from what I am today.  I could feel bitter and burdened by what life has put before me.  I know so many who choose that path when faced with their own personal tragedies.

Yes, choose.

I could have passively wallowed in pain and bitterness but I chose not to remain there at any stage of my life.  Sure there were times when I was too weary to move forward.  At times, I held on tightly to my pain because by letting go of it  felt like the love I'd known would vanish forever.

Instead, I choose to be grateful for what I've known and know today.

I'm grateful for the little things like my cat gently waking me in the morning with her sandpaper tongue for no other reason than she desires my company.  I'm grateful for the wagging tail of my pup that greets me in my half slumberous state when I exit my bedroom in the morning.

I'm grateful for the big things that I know in a loving husband and the sweetness of motherhood in my living children.

I'm grateful for the brief time I had with my children who now dance with angels in heaven.

I am grateful for the presence of the young lady with Down syndrome in my life and all the lessons in life that  I've learned from her and through her. 

I'm grateful for the daughter that has reached young adulthood, is successful in college who is wise beyond her years.

I'm grateful for the opportunity and blessings that come with our homeschooling lifestyle.  That lifestyle has grown us and taught us all so many valuable lessons on loving each other and learning together.

I thank God all day long for His work in me and around me.

I'm even grateful for days when the temperature reaches 104 degrees outside.

Through all my trials, I've known the love of my heavenly Father.  I've felt the embrace of my loving Savior.  The gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit in my heart calling me to new wondrous places where love resides and hope never dies.  I feel a little closer to heaven every day.

A tapestry will never do as a representation of the breadth and depth of the beauty in my life.  Words will never fully describe what a grateful heart will know in the beauty that comes with embracing what comes, living in my Father's will and letting the Holy Spirit be my guide.  I can only hope my soul will be pleasing to God when I am called home.

I do so love my life.

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*If you don't know the story of Julie and Derrick Tennant, please visit them at The Love Chromosome.  You will be inspired by their story and perhaps you will get your own t-shirt!

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