Lent - Examination of Conscience

One of the reasons I love Lent is that it is a season where I am invited to be introspective. I am introverted by nature but my calling to be a wife and mother keeps me focused on the external most of the hours of my days. In Lent, I have permission to go to the place where I get re-energized and focused with greater frequency –-- solitude!

So, in my solitude, I must be disciplined. My mind must not be allowed to wander. I must be focused on the task at hand. Each Lent we are invited to examine our conscience. God sees us as we are but do we see ourselves as we are? As broken people, we often tuck away our sins in a place where we don’t have to see them for what they are. Sometimes we don't see how our little sins become habit and affect those around us. Taking a closer look at that place, called a conscience, will hopefully help us to see what separates us from God.

So, what is a conscience? I like this definition "It is man’s sanctuary where each of us assesses himself and is assessed by God in terms of our faithfulness or lack thereof to God’s law….Prayerful self-reflection on our words and deeds in the light of the Gospel to determine how we have sinned against God."

What is sin? Sin is anything which offends God.

I like this passage from C. S. Lewis on the root of sin:

“From the moment a creature becomes aware of God as God and of itself as self, the terrible alternative of choosing God or self for the center is opened to it. The sin is committed daily by young children and ignorant peasants as well as by sophisticated persons, by solitaries no less than by those who live in society: it is the fall in every individual life, and in each day of each individual life, the basic sin behind all particular sins: at this very moment you and I are either committing it or about to commit it, or repenting it.”

The Problem of Pain, Chapter 5

It sometimes takes a great deal of courage to examine one’s conscience. For some, it is hard to go to the place where everything is laid bare and we are exposed for who we really are – not just what we want others to see.

It’s not really such a scary place if we invite God to go there with us. I like this prayer to invite God to be with me.

Being raised in the Roman Catholic denomination, I was called to do frequent examination of conscience in preparation for weekly confession. It was training that takes away the fear that some know when called to examine their conscience. It is almost second nature for me.

I go there knowing I am loved and that God desires that the distance that separates me from Him, caused by my broken, sinful nature, be vanished. I want to go there. With all my heart, I want to know His forgiveness and feel His closeness as I repent my sins.

There are many helpful resources on the internet for examining one’s conscience. Because I am called to be a wife and mother, my tool this year will is The Two Shall Become One: The Sacrament of Reconciliation and Marriage.

The Anglican Church calls confession "the ministry of reconciliation" and it is available for all who desire it. Those seeking absolution confess their sins before a priest or a bishop. I don't know many Anglicans who take advantage of this rite. Do you make it a habit?

I'll take the whole of Lent to ponder and pray -- and ask forgiveness. My joy will only be increased when Easter comes...