Merry Christmas

This 1515 Flemish painting by an unknown artist, called The Adoration of the Christ Child, has two (or more) figures with Down syndrome. Look closely at the angel next to Mary and the shepherd above Mary and you will see the characteristic features of individuals with Down syndrome worshiping the newborn Christ child.

I have been blessed with a child with Down syndrome and she worships Jesus with a faith that I can only hope to attain. Last night at our Christmas Pageant, she stood over the baby Jesus dressed as an angel smiling down with a love so pure it radiated light.

Praying the Lord fills your heart with peace, holds you in His love and blesses you with His grace.

Christmas Angel

Lay hold upon the hope set before us: which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast. Hebrews 6:18-19
My oldest daughter, Michelle, was born on Christmas Eve. The following day I found out that she had severe, complex congenital heart defects. The pediatric cardiologist told me to take her home and love her and I never looked back. My world had changed. This long awaited and deeply loved child might not be mine for long. I learned to live for today, for every day was precious with her. I was blessed with five and a half wonderful years.

For many years, Christmas was a bittersweet time for me but the Lord brought me through the excruciating pain and devastation of her loss. The entire fabric of my life was in shreds. I knew despair. I did not grieve well - if anybody does. I was very angry with God but I knew He understood. He watched His own son suffer and die on the cross. I watched my firstborn suffer horribly and die in my arms. With the anger, my healing began.

Time and healing have softened the pain. I tell people today that grief is holy ground. Friends and family just can't be available every anguished moment but the Lord is always available to wrap His loving arms around us and surround us with comfort and give us His strength.

Is there any place you can go from my spirit? If you climb the sky, I am there! If you go underground, I am there! Psalm 139: 7-8

It was not my own strength that got me through my grief - it was His alone. Grief is a journey with God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. My journey in grief taught me that He is the only source of true hope - to look for it elsewhere was to base my life on a foundation that would not carry me through the trials of this life. God makes many promises in Holy Scripture. I experienced the realities of those promises. He never left me. He is the Great Physician - He is a God of healing. I was made new (again!) in Him.

Jesus died on the cross for our salvation. My daughter lives because He gave up His life for us.

From her funeral service:

We seem to give Michelle back to you, dear God,
who gave her to us.

Yet, as you did not lose her in giving, so we have not lost by her return.

Not as the world gives, do you give, O Lover of Michelle. O Lover of us all.

For what is yours
Is ours always...
If we are yours.

And life is eternal,
and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon,
and a horizon is nothing but
the limit of our sight.

Lift us up, strong Son of God,
that we may see further, cleanse our eyes
that we may see more clearly; draw us
closer to you that we may know
ourselves, nearer to Michelle, who is
with you.

And while you prepare a place for us,
prepare us!

Prepare us for a happy place,
where Michelle is
and where you are
and where we too want to be.

Amen

Author Unknown

May Michelle rest in peace and rise in glory.

Advent Festival of Lessons and Carols

Our diocese has the Festival of Lessons and Carols as part of our Advent every year. It is the story of the fall of humanity, the promise of the Messiah and the birth of Jesus as told in the Bible along with Advent hymns/carols.

The tradition of Advent Lessons and Carols was established in England at the chapel of Kings College, Cambridge University, in Cambridge in 1918. The service is based on an earlier Order by E. W. Benson, former Archbishop of Canterbury, and continues on today around the world in Anglican churches. It is broadcast on BBC radio and picked up by some U.S. public radio stations.

Our service last evening was worthy of national broadcasting. The readings and our diocesan choir did a magnificent rendition of an historic tradition which I found quite moving. This period of waiting and preparation for the Christ Child with restrained joy gives meaning to the true celebration of Christmas. It gives a name to the longing in my heart for our Savior. The Babe about to be born in a stable (or cave) to save the world and soon to return as Judge and King. I can't wait to sing Joy to the World on Christmas Day!

My Favorite Advent Hymn

Anglican Prayer Beads or Anglican Rosary

I posted this on Kerry’s blog and thought I would put it here too!

The rosary is fairly new to the Anglican Church. It was created in the mid 1980’s by an Episcopal priest. It blends the Roman Catholic Rosary and the Orthodox Jesus Prayer rope in a form of contemplative prayer.

The rosary is rich with sacred symbolism

I have had my rosary for several years now. I routinely use it in the evening after my children go to bed – my only quiet time of the day! I find it a wonderful way to quiet my mind and remove the distractions of the day.

I must be a tactile person. I love the way the beads become warm in my hands as I pray. The warmer they get, the more I feel in the presence of the Lord.

The rosary lends itself to many types of prayer. I start with the Celtic Prayer, three times around the beads:

The Cross
In the Name of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

The Invitatory
O God make speed to save me (us),
O Lord make haste to help me (us),
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: As it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen.

The Cruciforms
Be the eye of God dwelling with me,
The foot of Christ in guidance with me,
The shower of the Spirit pouring on me,
Richly and generously

The Weeks
Pray each phrase on a separate bead.
I bow before the Father who made me,
I bow before the Son who saved me,
I bow before the Spirit who guides me,
In love and adoration.
I praise the Name of the one on high.
I bow before thee Sacred Three,
The ever One, the Trinity.

(Last time through)

Invitatory Bead

The Lord’s Prayer

Cross

Let us bless the Lord (or I bless the Lord)

Thanks be to God.

When I finish the Celtic Prayer, I then move into intercessory prayer. I am on the prayer team at my home church so my prayer list is quite large. I name a name and visualize a face if I know the person I am praying for with each bead.

Some people devote the weeks to a certain group like the hungry, those who are addicted, or those in prisons. I am thinking of using it in my times of self-examination and prayer of confession as I ask the Lord to make me new in Him.

I love praying with my hands. Homeschooling is a very task oriented lifestyle so I often find myself praying with my hands as I move through the day but praying the rosary is where I feel the Lord’s presence in my soul and all around me. This solitary time with the Lord is vital to the life I live today and brought me closer to Christ. I never leave home without it.

Beginnings....

As I begin this blog, I wonder what I have to offer the blogosphere. I am not a gifted writer but I feel a call to be here. I am an ordinary stay-at-home mom, living in an ordinary house in an ordinary suburban neighborhood in the Midwest. Sounds rather boring doesn’t it?

Much of my journey has been unconventional. Look at me – an orthodox Anglican, homeschooling teenagers, one with significant special needs. I dare you to find another like me. I’m sure they are there but I’ve yet to meet one – maybe I am not so ordinary!

I’ve often wandered down the road less traveled as I faced the fork in the road. I never failed to find the Lord by my side - His strength to sustain me and give me courage to move forward; His arms to comfort me and give me peace. I’m not afraid to share what I’ve learned along the way so here I am!