Daughter of the King

My daughter does not suffer

From the extra genetic material with which she is blessed

She lives her life enveloped by grace

Freely given by our Creator

She doesn’t suffer because you stare

Her mission is reflect His love

She doesn’t suffer when you don’t respond

She knows the flaw is yours

She knows who she is - a child of God

Created in His image

She knows her role

As His emissary in a sinful, materialistic world

She doesn’t need you to judge

There is only one Judge that matters

One who judges the righteous with mercy and love

And forgives the repentant

She knows the Judgment Day will come

She will face it as she lives life

Basking in His Grace

Entering one of the many mansions

Prepared for those who believe

As a daughter of the King

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The Little Things - Memories of Grandma

I've been doing a little writing for others this week. This summary of the memories of my beloved Grandma who passed away many years ago. Her impact on my life was huge and I hope this is a fitting tribute for a wonderful, Christian woman very dear to my heart. It will be published in a book written by my aunt in the near future.

The Little Things

I’m not much of a detail oriented person. My memories are not filled with details of gatherings - who was there or even what happened unless it was a momentous or tragic occasion. I’ve always looked at, and stored to memory, the big picture.

As I look back on my memories of Grandma, all I see is gentleness and love. In looking at the big picture, I knew Grandma loved me. She loved me in little ways. She greetedme by name each and every time we visited. I was never glossed over in the crowd of grandchildren that gathered frequently at her home. She called me by name and offered some little tidbit that let me know she was keeping up with my life.

As I grew up, we had more grown-up kinds of conversations with a mutuality bound by love of grandmother and granddaughter. We talked mostly about the little things – precious little things. I observed, listened and incorporated what was good and lovely about her.

I only have a picture to recall the details of her face and gentle smile. A smile as lovely as her little garden where life stopped for sips of mint iced tea. A place where I was enveloped by love, could relax and enjoy our time together. The soft scent of roses filled the air as conversation revolved around little things.

I’ll always associate Grandma with Christmas and the gathering of family. A special time filled with love, stories and laughter. We know a few are missing and missed but the love continues on with a sense of their presence no matter where we are.

As Grandma aged and fought a courageous battle with cancer, I was honored and blessed to hold her hand during extremely painful procedures. Her hands were very soft and warm and the tears she cried fell on our hands as she endured pain that few will know. Tears I treasure to this day.

As she became weaker and knew her time was coming, I held her hand as she slipped into a state marked by mumbling and what others saw as confusion. I listened carefully as she talked to God, working out her mistakes with her Lord and Savior. She didn’t mind my presence so I sat at her bedside holding her soft, warm hand in the sterile environment that is life in the hospital basking in the love of Grandma – and her love for God as she prayed and asked forgiveness for her sins.

Certainly those were sad times as we watched this gentle, lovely soul prepare to leave us. It was such a comfort to know she was prepared and ready.

It is in these little things that the big picture tells its story. The story of love and the gentleness of her soul – and everything a grandma should be. Grandma showed me the meaning of this life. It is all about love in the little things and little ways in which we love one another so the big picture can tell the story.

She has gone on ahead to her heavenly home but we know her soul if safe – may she rest in peace and rise in glory...

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As God Views...

Through the lens of Love

As He views the rest of His Creation

As His precious Child

Bearing His Image

As an intentional part of His creation

With a ministry to fulfill on earth

As one who bears unique gifts

Valuable to the faith community

As His beloved

Sent to glorify Him in her life

As a sinner

With a repentant heart

He revels in the beauty of her soul

Washed clean by the Blood of the Lamb

Created for eternity

Just like you and me

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The Faith Community - Walking Alongside the Family Living with Special Needs

Families raising and supporting children and/or loved ones with special needs live unique lives – lives filled with many blessings and unexpected joys - but often face greater challenges that those living a so called “typical” life.

Like their loved one with special needs, they are often living on the margins of society. Their first obligation is to family – just like your family but with additional responsibilities which leaves less time for friends and social gatherings.

What can you do to walk alongside families?

Meet them where they are outside of the faith community. We only capture a few moments when we gather together as a church family. They live 24 hours per day with their loved one with special needs. We can be in relationship with them as they deal with the their everyday lives away from the church. A little effort goes a long way!

Acknowledge they are dealing with more than the typical family.

We acknowledge that every child/individual is special but some deal with challenges beyond the typical family which impact their lives, marriages, typically developing children, and relationships in the community. Often times, they work endlessly to find ways to meet the needs of the child/individual with special needs and spend many more hours per day meeting individual’s needs to help him/her reach beyond their challenges.

Do not be afraid to approach the family.

Many people just do not know what to say or do. Let the family or the individual lead the way for you. As you get to know the family, you will probably be surprised by the blessings they know as a parent of a child with special needs or supporting the individual with special needs.

You will discover that their lives are more than the individual with special needs diagnosis. They, as a family, are much like your family. Beyond the challenges they face, they have the same dreams and hopes for their loved one...and share many of the same problems.

Don't be afraid to inquire about the individual’s special needs.
Most families are quite willing to share – they live with those special needs day in and day out. Special needs are normalized over time and quite often easily spoken about.

Do not be afraid of the individual with special needs.

They may look different or act differently but they are always people first. Treat them with the same respect, friendliness that you would show anyone else. A little genuine interest in the life of the individual with special needs and their family are precious to them.

The nonverbal individual will appreciate a smile, a light touch and friendly conversation – just like every other individual. Some will have ‘invisible’ special needs and are also in need of your support and understanding.

Educate your families about people with special needs and encourage friendships.

It is important for individuals with special needs to have friendships with those we view as typical. Individuals with special needs learn a great deal from peer relationships. The peer will learn a great deal about befriending those who really are more like them than different and valuing all of God's creation.

Include the family openly and lovingly in group activities.

Your kindness will be deeply appreciated. Giving exposure to the individual with special needs and their family will promote acceptance into the faith community.

Allow the family the opportunity to educate your congregation on the special needs of their child or loved one.

This may help others feel more comfortable with them. Knowledge will breed compassion and the ability to welcome them fully into congregational life – to help them see beyond the diagnosis and to be valued for who they are.

Mentoring opportunities.

Many opportunities exist in meeting the everyday needs of the individual with special needs and their families. A little companionship for the individual with special needs – perhaps going for a cup of coffee or to a movie which may contribute to their future independence – is quite meaningful to the individual and their family.

Do remember the siblings.

At times, people forget about the devoted siblings/family members. Growing up alongside a child with special needs or supporting a loved one with special needs comes with many blessings but sometimes they need to be acknowledged for who they are individually. No one really wants to be known only as the sibling/relative of an individual with special needs.

Invite the parents/caretaker out or over for an occasional social activity.

They need to just be grownups sometimes and away from the usual daily responsibilities.

If you are so called, offer respite care on occasion.
An hour or two on occasion will provide refreshment for the overwhelmed parent/relative. Perhaps you have a teen willing to be trained in meeting the family’s needs for a short time. Helping with some light household tasks or entertaining a toddler will be huge for a family dealing with an individual with special needs.

Do not feel sorry for them.

Many families will not welcome sympathy. In fact, they might find it condescending. Most families feel abundantly blessed to have the opportunity to have the individual with special needs in their lives. At times, the family may need a friend during crisis or episodic grieving that normally occurs when living with a child or individual with special needs.

Empathy is genuinely needed at times.

Offer your ear and an open heart when we do struggle. Sometimes all that might be needed is someone to listen. Even if you can’t truly understand, a compassionate heart might be all that is needed. 

Pray for the family as you feel led.
All need prayer but these families might have different specific needs to be brought before the Throne. Ask how you can pray for them. In asking you show support which brings comfort that they are not dealing with challenging issues alone.

What can the wider community do?

This needs to be a ministry to an often marginalized group of individuals/families. A little extra effort to support families will go a long way.

Don’t expect families with loved ones with special needs to have the time and energy to give to the wider faith community on a regular basis. They are too often overwhelmed by what they have been called to do – especially in the early years where they are dealing with their loved one’s or child’s diagnosis, seeking answers to why the person/child isn’t developing typically, frequent visits to physicians and/or therapists, dealing with behavioral challenges and/or meeting the needs of the rest of their family. This is the time when support is needed most.

I promise you will be blessed in giving a little or a lot. When you reflect God’s love for all of His creation – especially those with special needs – you will discover a heart more inclined to love as Jesus calls us to love. Bless and be blessed!

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All Life is Precious

Annie, of The House That Jade Built, made this beautiful necklace to promote Down syndrome awareness in this The International Down Syndrome Coalition for Life necklace.




Wear your belief - I've ordered mine!

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The Faith of a Child

"Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it." Mark 10:15












Reagan, 16 y.o. with Down syndrome, is a Believer. She knows that Christ was born, fully human and fully divine, and died on the cross for her.

This is the cross that she puts under her pillow every night. It goes with us when we travel and she never forgets to pack it when we leave our destination. She uses this symbol to remind her she is never alone - even in the dark of night.

She knows a deeper faith than most - simple, trusting and pure.

It is the faith of a child and I long to be more like her...


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The Soul and Disabilities

Individuals with special needs are fully human, created in the image of God, and therefore bear the image of God in their soul. I’ve been pondering lately why the Church doesn’t seem to value them in their words and actions - by failing to bring them into our faith communities.

Is it because the Church might believe that those with disabilities have souls that are disabled?

Is it because many with special needs cannot express their faith in the same way “normal” people do?

Is it because the Church might be blind to the Fruits of the Spirit that defines their ministry in this world?

Is it because they think people with special needs can’t understand the mysteries of faith?

Is it because they think that people with special needs have nothing of value to offer the faith community?

The soul given to those with special needs, bearing the image of God, understands Love.

That soul which reflects God sees and understands.

God sees and understands.

Will we, the Church, be forgiven for our blindness, our lack of understanding and compassion?

Let us join together, as Blessed Mother Teresa taught, and "look for the face of Christ in each of His numerous disguises wherever we go."

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The Image of God

Do you ever wonder how God looks at His children with special needs? No doubt, He looks at them in the same way he looks at all of us. He doesn’t care about our appearance and other worldly trappings. He values what lies inside of all of us. He looks at our hearts – the place where love lives. God is love and wants us to enter into the love of the Father for the Son and the Son for the Father with all our hearts, minds, and souls.

Are those with special needs given the same heart? Yes!

C.S. Lewis wrote

"There does seem to be an empty space, a vacuum in the heart of every human….Those who believe in God say that he and he alone is the piece that brings completion to the soul. All people need God."

And what about the soul? Every human is given a soul at conception – created by God and the essence of humankind. Do individuals with special needs have a soul? Of course they do!

God values all His children as those created in His image. Shouldn’t the rest of the world?

It’s not a reality yet but we can bring change about by leading with example in entering into relationship with individuals with special needs. Let’s bring them all into the faith community. Let them know they are a child of God - loved and cherished by God and God’s faithful people.

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About That Invitation...

Yesterday, I invited the Church to walk alongside us in faith and love - to join us and include us in community. You might think I am speaking about the institution when I speak of the Church. In a small way I am speaking to the leadership - the clergy, the elders, the vestries, the organizational entity that meets to make the rules, set policy and procedures, and make mission statements. The decision makers have a vision but it is up to you and me, THE Church, to make the changes to bring the Gospel to all - including those with special needs.

Sometimes, those in leadership need to be enlightened as to what might be missing from the Body of Christ. If you are reading this, you are becoming increasingly aware of what is missing - which requires action on your part. Awareness should breed that response. Please take it to the leadership and hopefully, they will consider it, pray about it and respond to the needs of individuals with special needs. Their souls, like ours are crying out for something more than what is here on our earthly journey.

They want to know Christ.

They are in need of God's saving grace.

They need to grow spiritually.

They long for fellowship with others and be a part of the community of the faithful.

They want to share their gifts and talents

I am talking to you. I invited you to walk alongside us. You are the Church - empowered by the Holy Spirit. You are an essential part of the Body of Christ. It is up to you to see that God's will is done in bringing individuals with special needs into our faith communities. It is imperative that what is missing in our faith communities - individuals with special needs - so that the Body of Christ is whole.

Perhaps when the Body of Christ is whole, the Church will be unified!

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An Invitation

Perhaps you know my family – You see a happily married couple with two kids, 2 cars, a dog and a cat living in a middle class home in a nice subdivision. We go to church and pay our bills. Sounds pretty average doesn’t it?

If you choose to walk closer with me on this earthly journey, you will see one of my children has Down syndrome. You will see me trying my best to treat her as I treat my oldest daughter – as normally as possible but I must make some adjustments in dealing with her uniqueness. It is part of living with her special needs. Still my family is more like yours than not.

Many will shy away from getting closer. Perhaps they think they really don't want to know what I deal with. I invite you to walk with me. I invite the Church to walk with me. I want you to know my blessings and my joys. The challenges come and go but the joys and the blessings are constant. I want you to see Reagan’s gifts and the added dimension she brings to our lives and what she can offer to the faith community.

Sadly, a large part of the faith community fails to recognize my daughter’s gifts and talents. They fail to see her as an asset, as one who has something to contribute to the Body of Christ.

I’m not speaking of the church we belong to now. Reagan is loved and cherished as a child of God in our present church. They love her for who she is. The path was long but we now have a place to worship, a place where she is welcomed and cared about. The congregation contributes to her spiritual growth and she contributes to spiritual growth of our faith community. There is mutuality present with God in the center. I am deeply moved by where God has led us on our journey but it hasn’t always been easy.

I could name some very special people here who have been our friends throughout Reagan’s life. They have done great things in the little things they offered us. If you are reading this you know who you are. I thank you for your ear, your friendship and the many ways you have blessed us. I thank God for putting you in our lives.

There is a growing movement in the Church in meeting the spiritual needs of individuals with special needs and families raising children with special needs. It requires change. It requires opening hearts and minds. It requires you to walk alongside us. Walk alongside us in faith and love. Be blessed as we have been blessed in knowing this soul, which is not disabled but quite gifted, as we all doing our best to live out the Gospel.

Soon to come - what you can do!

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The Church and Individuals with Special Needs

In every community you will find individuals with special needs and families supporting loved ones with special needs. You may not many of them in our churches but they do exist. Nineteen percent of the general population lives with special needs and have families impacted by those special needs. Ninety percent have no church home. Do you, like me, find these numbers distressing?


Why don’t we see them?

They have had previous negative experiences with the Church.

They may not feel their child or loved one with special needs is accepted as fully participating members of the community.

They may not be comfortable bringing their child or loved one with special needs to events and gatherings due to social, behavioral and/or physical issues.

They may be using all their available energy to meet the needs of their family and their child with special needs.

Does your faith community have a responsibility to nurture and support those with special needs?

Jesus welcomed – even healed - many people with special needs. He gave them His time and attention. Why should the Christian community be any different?

The Body of Christ is called to live the Gospel in all its fullness. We are they eyes, hands and feet of Jesus on earth – empowered by the Holy Spirit. All God’s children should be welcomed and brought into full congregational life. Their gifts and talents make the Body of Christ whole.

Many families are already a part of the faith community but stopped attending church because of a perceived (and probably real) lack of acceptance. Their children and loved ones with special needs should be welcomed into the community as every other child and individual is welcomed. They should be supported through the additional trials they face and the joys of caring for their loved one with special needs

Individuals with special needs are an often marginalized segment of society. They are often excluded because they look and/or act differently. Most know and feel the discomfort of being excluded.

Much of society doesn’t value those with significant needs and/or cognitive challenges. In fact, many (90+ percent of those with Down syndrome) with known genetic syndromes are aborted in utero. Babies created in Him image disposed of as useless tissue! It is time we took back what is taught in God's Word and live it! Over the years, in the post-modern culture, the Church has become more secularized and some denominations have become part of the popular culture to the extent that they call abortion a blessing

God loves and values all His children - He makes no mistakes...and I'm sure He weeps at the state of parts of His church.

So, let the faith community be different. Embrace those with special needs and their families as Jesus would!

What you, as an individual, can do:

In every community you will find many who would love to support individuals with special needs but aren’t sure what they can do.

1. Invite and welcome them into your church home.

What do you do when you meet someone who is seeking a church home? In the natural course of relationships, we invite them to our church!

When inviting individuals with special needs, remember many cannot drive. They will need a ride to church. Those in institutional settings will, most likely, also not have a ride to church. This is probably the biggest obstacle in bringing individuals with special needs into our churches.

It seems that we may shy away from inviting families dealing with individuals with special needs, Perhaps we see problems vs. opportunities. Perhaps they don’t feel their church is equipped to handle needs beyond what they perceive as "normal."

In truth, we are all equipped by God’s Word and the Holy Spirit to meet those needs. All are created in His Image and should be welcomed and encouraged to participate in the fullness of congregational life.

2. Support and guide them.

It often isn’t easy for any of us to learn our way around a new church and meet new people. Support and guide individuals with special needs, as needed, as they make their way through learning the church layout, the liturgy, the Hymnal, Prayer Book and meeting others. Don’t forget to fade your support as they become independent and get to know people.

3. Treat them with dignity and respect

As an individual created in God’s image! God loves all His children and we should too – giving them the respect they deserve and at all times protect their dignity.

4. Meet them where they are.

Isn’t that what friends do? Meet them where they are emotionally, socially and developmentally and gently guide them forward on their path to spiritual growth. Help them discern their spiritual gifts and how to use them. Remember they have the same spiritual needs as everyone else. They want to know our Lord better and become closer to Him. They desire to worship with a church family. They want to be welcomed in fellowship and be valued for who they are.


5. Teach others how to love and include them.

There may be those in the faith community who harbor unfounded fears and prejudices – or just don’t know what to do or say. They may be need to be taught by example what to do and say.

In keeping it simple, this is all about relationships and living the Gospel. The implementation may seem complex but it is one individual or one family at a time, brought into the fullness of the Body of Christ, supporting and learning from each other, and bringing God the glory!

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