Different Dream Parenting by Jolene Philo

As you may recall, I have a passion for ministry alongside those with special needs.  As part of my research into this ministry, I have acquired quite the library.  Early on, I read Jolene Philo's book, A Different Dream for My Child  -  Meditations for Parents of Critically or Chronically Ill Children.  I was amazed by the attention to detail in the recollections of the author and those who generously contributed their stories.  Each chapter is short (important to those in crisis with short attention spans), introduced by Scriptural references and closes with prayer.  This  book which offers insights and practical advice as well as comfort for those in the early stages of their journey with a child with special needs.

Recently, I was given a copy of Jolene's new book, Different Dream Parenting - A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs. Every parent of a child with special needs should read this book!

This book offers advice and insights from the time diagnosis through young adulthood.  Different Dream Parenting shows us how to walk with God as we deal with the diagnosis, parenting the chronically/critically ill child, marriage and family life, dealing with extended family, working with healthcare professionals, managing the school years, emotional sequelae to multiple, serious procedures, planning the future of the child with special needs...and even the death of a child.

As the parent of two children with significant special needs, I know that many times along the journey I did not know what I needed -- and was often confused as to what might be in the best interest of my child.

Have you ever been so tired,  lost and confused that you didn't have the energy or know what to pray?  Different Dream Parenting offers spiritual comfort and practical, important ways to pray.- with prayers sprinkled throughout the book and seven prayer guides in the appendix.


I think my favorite part of the book deals with dispelling and defeating guilt - an almost universal condition after a diagnosis that indicates a child with have special life-long needs whether they be physical, emotional or intellectual.

"Believing God has a purpose for you and your child on this special needs journey is another way to combat guilt.  In Exodus 4:11, God says, 'And who do you think made the human mouth?  And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind?  Isn't it I, God?'

"According to Exodus 4:11, God created your child with a special need.  Therefore, He has a reason for it.  Maybe He's already revealed what it is.  Maybe He's given you only the faintest inkling.  Maybe you're still waiting for His purpose to be revealed. But your weapon against guilt isn't how much you understand about God's purpose.  Your weapon is a rock hard belief that He has a divine purpose your you child, whether or not you understand what it is."

Though there is no guide to living with a child with special needs that will address all the intricacies that come with the diagnosis and life with a child with special needs, Jolene's book sheds much light on the journey whether you are in crisis or in a more stable place on the journey.  Different Dream Parenting is a practical, thoughtful and insightful guide which offers much food for thought.   As one who has traveled the path dealing with children with special needs for a very long time, I recognize this book for the gem it is - a must read for the journey!

Jolene blogs at Different Dream for My Child where you can find out more about her books.