In my last post,
Loving My Life, I shared briefly much of the adversity I have faced and how a grateful heart turns sadness into contentment - even joy! As I ponder the path I've taken, the person I've become and the life I'm blessed with, I look at the lessons I've learned along the way.
The greatest lesson I've learned is to look for the lesson! There is always something to learn from our circumstances and work to make something good come out of adversity. This introspective self (me) ponders circumstances naturally. I was born that way and can't seem to shake it.
Yes, I had a difficult childhood. My children only know safety, stability, love and affection. My childhood made me determined not to repeat history. A wrong righted!
In my experience, righting wrongs brings healing. To remain a victim of circumstances may possibly perpetuate the cycle of abuse and contribute to depression.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not a perfect parent. I get tired, distracted, cranky. I even raise my voice on occasion - mostly because of my own state of mind. But my intention and focus is on not repeating the mistakes of my parents, and their parents, and their parents...
My parents had multiple affairs during my childhood and young adult stages. The ripples of pain flowing out of adultery affected me deeply. I've made my marriage a priority. I vowed early on to making my home a home where faithfulness is true and love and peace reign. A place that is to be an escape from the madness that the rest of the world has become. I know the sweetness of a good marriage, to a good man who shares my
love for the Lord. I find that an amazing gift - for our whole family.
We don't live perfect lives. I and aware of and understand much of my brokenness in the little things and the big things. We are called to live and serve in a broken world. It is impossible to serve effectively unless we understand our own brokenness. Otherwise, we place ourselves above the broken and are unable to truly serve.
I've known devastation in the death of my children - but therein lies my strength. What God put together in me as a new creation, reborn from devastation, was woven in Him and by Him. I am, not by my own strength, but by His. I faced the worst with Him and have been healed through Him. God is good. All that flows from Him is good and because of that I know a miracle!
I am the miracle.
My husband, children on earth and my children in heaven would want me to be healed and whole - and to tell the story of God's love for them and our family. Perhaps I didn't get my prayers answered as Michelle was dying or for the wee one I only knew in the love and anticipation of another child growing in my womb but God loved us through all the joyful as well as the pain, sadness and healing.
I am a better mother, wife and friend because of adversity.
God is not the cause of pain and suffering. A sinful, fallen world is the cause of all pain and suffering. Our God, The Great Physician, is the source of healing.
I am assured of His continuous presence and know that He loves me in my angst and in my contented state. An ever faithful God who loves unconditionally, heals without hesitation and bestows grace and mercy to all. He calls us beyond our circumstances tell His story. Love, healing and miracles require a response beyond gratitude. I would love to hear your story!
