The Homeschooling Community and Supporting Homeschoolers with Children with Special Needs

Matthew 25: 31-46

In every homeschooling community you will find homeschoolers educating children with special needs. You may not see a lot of them but they do exist.

Why don’t you see them?

They may not be comfortable bringing their child with special needs to events and gatherings due to social, behavioral and/or physical issues.

They may be using all their available energy to meet the needs of their family and their child with special needs.

They may not feel their children are accepted as fully participating members of the community.

Does the homeschooling community have a responsibility to nurture and support those homeschooling children with special needs?

The homeschooling community is primarily made up of Christian families. Jesus welcomed – even healed - many people with special needs. He gave them His time and attention. Why should the Christian homeschooling community be any different?

Many of these families are already a part of the homeschooling community. Their children with special needs should be welcomed into the community as every other child is welcomed.

Individuals with special needs are an often marginalized segment of society. They are often excluded because they look and/or act differently. Much of society doesn’t value those with significant needs and/or cognitive challenges. In fact, many with known genetic syndromes are aborted in utero. Babies created in Him image disposed of as useless tissue!

Let the homeschooling community be different. Embrace those with special needs and their families as Jesus would!

What you, as an individual, can do:

In every homeschooling community you will find many who would love to support those homeschooling children with special needs but aren’t sure what they can do.

1. Acknowledge we are dealing with more than the typical homeschooling family.

We acknowledge that every child is special but we do deal with challenges beyond the typical family which impact our lives, our marriages, our typically developing children and our relationships in the community. Often times, we work endlessly to find ways to meet the needs of our child with special needs and spend many more hours per day meeting that child’s needs to helping him/her reach beyond their challenges.

2. Keep a mental list of those you meet in the homeschooling community with children with special needs.

When you meet someone who homeschools a child with special needs, ask them if they know so and so who also homeschools a child with special needs. Those relationships can provide invaluable support.

3. Do not be afraid to approach the family.

Many people just don’t know what to say or do. Let us lead the way for you. As you get to know the family, you will probably be surprised by the blessings they know as a parent of a child with special needs.

You will discover that our lives are more than our child's diagnosis. We, as a family, are just like your family. Beyond the challenges we face, are the same dreams and hopes for our children...and we share many of the same problems.

4. Don't be afraid to inquire about the child’s special needs.

Most families are quite willing to share – they live with those special needs day in and day out.

5. Do not be afraid of the child with special needs.

They may look different or act differently but they are always children first. The nonverbal child will appreciate a smile, a light touch and friendly conversation – just like every other child. Some children will have ‘invisible’ special needs and are also in need of your support and understanding.

6. Educate your children about our special blessings and encourage friendships.

It is important for children with special needs to have friendships with typically developing children. Children with special needs learn a great deal from peer relationships. There peers will learn a great deal about befriending those who really are more like them than different and valuing all of God's creation.

7. Include the family openly and lovingly in homeschooling group activities.

Your kindness will be deeply appreciated.

8. Allow us the opportunity to educate your co-op, field trip group, and/or social group on the special needs of our child.

This may help others feel more comfortable with our children. We hope they will be valued for who they are and not their diagnosis…and included as fully as possible.

9. Mentoring opportunities.

Older typically developing children can be of great assistance to the family homeschooling a child with special needs during group activities. Having an older buddy guide them through those activities has many mutual benefits.

10. Do remember the siblings.

At times, people forget about the devoted siblings. Growing up alongside a child with special needs comes with many blessings but sometimes they need to be acknowledged for who they are individually. No one really wants to be known only as the sibling of the child with special needs.

11. Invite the parents out or over for an occasional social activity.

We need to just be grownups sometimes and away from our daily responsibilities.

12. If you are so called, offer respite care on occasion.

An hour or two on occasion will provide refreshment for the overwhelmed parent. Perhaps you have a teen willing to be trained in meeting the family’s needs for a short time. Helping with some light household tasks or entertaining a toddler will be huge for a family dealing with a child with special needs.

13. Do not feel sorry for us.

We don’t need sympathy when, for the most part, we are abundantly blessed! Most often we just need fellowship but there are episodic times of grieving for those raising children with special needs.

14. Empathy is genuinely needed at times.

Offer your ear and an open heart when we do struggle. Sometimes we just might need someone to listen. Even if you can’t truly understand, a compassionate heart might be all that is needed.

15. Pray for our families as you feel led.

We all need prayer but we might have different specific needs.

What can the greater homeschooling community do?

This needs to be a ministry to an often marginalized group of families. A little extra effort to support our families will go a long way.

Don’t expect those homeschooling children with special needs to have the time and energy to give to the greater community on a regular basis. They are too often overwhelmed by what they have been called to do – especially in the early years where they are dealing with their child’s diagnosis, seeking answers to why their child isn’t developing typically, frequent visits to physicians and/or therapists, dealing with behavioral challenges and meeting the needs of the rest of their family. This is the time when support is needed most.

Some other suggestions:

• Acknowledge that families homeschooling children with special needs exist – then ask how you can support them.
• Have special needs resources in your local homeschooling library or keep of list of print resources for referral.
• Have links to special needs resources on the internet on your homeschooling association’s website.
• Also include links to local, state and national support groups for those homeschooling children with special needs..
• Seek out those who homeschool children with special needs as mentors for those inquiring about homeschooling their child with special needs.
• Print an occasional article about homeschooling children with special needs in your newsletters.
• Think about convention support. There are many speakers available to support the homeschooling and special needs community.
  

I promise you will be blessed in giving a little or a lot. When you reflect God’s love for all of His creation – especially those with special needs – you will discover a heart more inclined to love as Jesus calls us to love. Bless and be blessed!