A place I know very well. Late January and February bring me to this place where I feel totally uninspired – also known as burnout. I know I’m not alone. Many homeschooling moms experience a sense of burnout this time of year.
What is homeschool burnout?
Perhaps life is not quite so enjoyable. In fact, you might find all your emotions rather muted. Irritability is common. Also feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, discouraged or possibly even depressed. Symptoms will vary with each individual. The key is to be aware of the likelihood of its occurrence before it impacts the family and your homeschool.
What contributes to this sense of burnout?
For us northerners who face shorter, cloudy days, bitter cold, ice and snow, the weather plays a big part in our feelings of isolation from others. It is just a reality that social gatherings and field trips decrease because of the weather.
We’ve got half of the school year under our belts. Most of the homeschooling moms I know see this time as a time that we question what we have chosen to do with our children. We question our goals and the effectiveness our role as homeschooling mothers. We question the effectiveness of our choices. We ask ourselves questions and ruminate beyond the necessary and useful point. Are we doing enough? Are we meeting our goals? Do we need to make changes?
Most homeschooling mothers have high expectations for themselves. They often find there is never enough time in the day for all they want to accomplish – with school, parenting, discipline, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. Homeschooling is a very task-oriented lifestyle lending itself to burnout.
Homeschooling Children with Special Needs
Taking the responsibility for homeschooling a child with special needs may intensify our feelings of burnout. After all, this is a huge responsibility – our efforts will impact our child's future functional competence. We don’t have a system to rely on or blame.
We often find ourselves comparing out children with others with a similar diagnosis in our own community whether it be in our homeschooling community or perhaps even a child in the school system. Are they doing better? Did I make the right choice? Would my child be better off in the system with all its supports?
Burnout - What can we do?
Burnout is a nasty place to be. The remedies:
1. Anticipate burnout.
Burnout is common in homeschooling moms. Anticipate it and you’ve almost won the battle!
2. Take a good look at your priorities.
Be sure that you are in fact keeping them in the right order.
-Am I spending enough time with God in prayer and with His Word?
-Am I giving enough time to my husband? In giving you will receive.
-Are my children’s basic and educational needs being met?
3. After reassessing priorities, choose carefully where you get involved outside the home.
It is common for others to think just because you homeschool you are available to meet their needs and the needs of the community during school hours. Practice saying no or I'm sorry I just can't do it -- without explanations.
4. Quit second guessing God.
Most of us who are called to homeschool are led there by a loving Father. If He leads us here, He will provide all that we need to accomplish His goals for us and our family.
5. Remember why you homeschool.
Keep your goals for your children close and in the proper perspective. Are you homeschooling to instill proper morals and values? Are you homeschooling because you believe you and your family are contributing to the need for more strong soldiers for Christ? Do you think you can provide a better education for your children than the system can provide? Do you have a child with special needs who thrives in your homeschool environment? Worthy goals - keep your eye on the prize! I've graduated one well-rounded young lady who, with her natural gifts, will contribute greatly where ever she is planted. It was worth every second!
6. Take good care of you.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise and get proper sleep. Your world will be a better place.
7. Don’t compare your children
Don't compare them with each other, family members or those in the community - especially if they have special needs. This is probably one of THE most destructive thing any parent can do. Compare them only to themselves. Are they working towards goals that are reasonable and obtainable? Are they making progress? Sometimes it is essential to look at the baby steps they might be taking toward a long sought after goal to find success. Find it and celebrate it!
8. Work at changing your thought patterns.
-If you are often finding yourself discouraged and down, try to focus on your blessings. Are you children healthy, clean, fed – physically, emotionally spiritually ready for learning? If that is the case, then learning will occur. They may not learn all that is on your agenda for the day but they will be open to the experiences and opportunities provided.
-Wake up with a thankful heart. Thank God for the opportunities that He will place before you as the day unfolds.
-Pray for your children and ask God to bless your day together.
-Thank God for them and the joy they bring – even when they are bickering.
-Verbalize all you find in the day to be thankful for. Soon you will find your children doing the same and the joy is multiplied!
9. Learn to live with dust bunnies.
One of the hardest things for me as a homeschooling mom was letting go of my need for a clean, tidy house all the time. I am a recovering neat freak. I am a recovering neat freak living with people who don’t see what the fuss is about. They are right of course.
10. Schedule flexibility.
That's right - if you are the obsessive-compulsive type like me who has a daily schedule, put a little flexibility in your schedule. Leave time for spontaneity and discover the joys!
11. Delight in the little things.
A cup of hot tea or hot chocolate with instructions that mama is taking a few minutes of time out and take it. My homeschooling friend, Amy, puts on her red tennis shoes every morning because they bring her a sense of delight – every day.
12. Make time for the things you enjoy and that refresh you.
Whether it be a good book or a hobby - do it.
13. Make a list of things to look forward to
-Schedule a date night with hubby – even if it has to be in your own home.
-How about a game night with the kids?
-An occasional mom’s night out with friends. Real life friends are important.
-A special dinner once a week with all your favorite foods.
14. Make a list of projects to take on.
I usually have a winter project because we spend more time at home. Even if it is just a closet or a few drawers, it is something outside the daily routine. It makes me feel productive in a different way. Involve the kids and it will be more fun! I don’t know if the kids will find my winter project fun – stripping the kitchen wall paper – but you never know.
15. Explore curriculum choices.
Most of us have homeschooling conventions on the horizon. Take the time to get excited about next year, investigate new options/curriculum choices and make plans on where you want to spend your time in the vendor hall.
16. Seek out the homeschooling community on the internet for support.
There are so many wonderful places to find support on the internet - way to many to list but you might try The Swap, The Homeschool Lounge, Heart of the Matter Online when you can't meet with your local homeschoolers for support and fellowship. I doubt you can find a homeschooler that has not experienced burnout. Let others share their ideas to get through this season.
Alas, I’m feeling inspired once again. I'm off to work through the list!
What is homeschool burnout?
Perhaps life is not quite so enjoyable. In fact, you might find all your emotions rather muted. Irritability is common. Also feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, discouraged or possibly even depressed. Symptoms will vary with each individual. The key is to be aware of the likelihood of its occurrence before it impacts the family and your homeschool.
What contributes to this sense of burnout?
For us northerners who face shorter, cloudy days, bitter cold, ice and snow, the weather plays a big part in our feelings of isolation from others. It is just a reality that social gatherings and field trips decrease because of the weather.
We’ve got half of the school year under our belts. Most of the homeschooling moms I know see this time as a time that we question what we have chosen to do with our children. We question our goals and the effectiveness our role as homeschooling mothers. We question the effectiveness of our choices. We ask ourselves questions and ruminate beyond the necessary and useful point. Are we doing enough? Are we meeting our goals? Do we need to make changes?
Most homeschooling mothers have high expectations for themselves. They often find there is never enough time in the day for all they want to accomplish – with school, parenting, discipline, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. Homeschooling is a very task-oriented lifestyle lending itself to burnout.
Homeschooling Children with Special Needs
Taking the responsibility for homeschooling a child with special needs may intensify our feelings of burnout. After all, this is a huge responsibility – our efforts will impact our child's future functional competence. We don’t have a system to rely on or blame.
We often find ourselves comparing out children with others with a similar diagnosis in our own community whether it be in our homeschooling community or perhaps even a child in the school system. Are they doing better? Did I make the right choice? Would my child be better off in the system with all its supports?
Burnout - What can we do?
Burnout is a nasty place to be. The remedies:
1. Anticipate burnout.
Burnout is common in homeschooling moms. Anticipate it and you’ve almost won the battle!
2. Take a good look at your priorities.
Be sure that you are in fact keeping them in the right order.
-Am I spending enough time with God in prayer and with His Word?
-Am I giving enough time to my husband? In giving you will receive.
-Are my children’s basic and educational needs being met?
3. After reassessing priorities, choose carefully where you get involved outside the home.
It is common for others to think just because you homeschool you are available to meet their needs and the needs of the community during school hours. Practice saying no or I'm sorry I just can't do it -- without explanations.
4. Quit second guessing God.
Most of us who are called to homeschool are led there by a loving Father. If He leads us here, He will provide all that we need to accomplish His goals for us and our family.
5. Remember why you homeschool.
Keep your goals for your children close and in the proper perspective. Are you homeschooling to instill proper morals and values? Are you homeschooling because you believe you and your family are contributing to the need for more strong soldiers for Christ? Do you think you can provide a better education for your children than the system can provide? Do you have a child with special needs who thrives in your homeschool environment? Worthy goals - keep your eye on the prize! I've graduated one well-rounded young lady who, with her natural gifts, will contribute greatly where ever she is planted. It was worth every second!
6. Take good care of you.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise and get proper sleep. Your world will be a better place.
7. Don’t compare your children
Don't compare them with each other, family members or those in the community - especially if they have special needs. This is probably one of THE most destructive thing any parent can do. Compare them only to themselves. Are they working towards goals that are reasonable and obtainable? Are they making progress? Sometimes it is essential to look at the baby steps they might be taking toward a long sought after goal to find success. Find it and celebrate it!
8. Work at changing your thought patterns.
-If you are often finding yourself discouraged and down, try to focus on your blessings. Are you children healthy, clean, fed – physically, emotionally spiritually ready for learning? If that is the case, then learning will occur. They may not learn all that is on your agenda for the day but they will be open to the experiences and opportunities provided.
-Wake up with a thankful heart. Thank God for the opportunities that He will place before you as the day unfolds.
-Pray for your children and ask God to bless your day together.
-Thank God for them and the joy they bring – even when they are bickering.
-Verbalize all you find in the day to be thankful for. Soon you will find your children doing the same and the joy is multiplied!
9. Learn to live with dust bunnies.
One of the hardest things for me as a homeschooling mom was letting go of my need for a clean, tidy house all the time. I am a recovering neat freak. I am a recovering neat freak living with people who don’t see what the fuss is about. They are right of course.
10. Schedule flexibility.
That's right - if you are the obsessive-compulsive type like me who has a daily schedule, put a little flexibility in your schedule. Leave time for spontaneity and discover the joys!
11. Delight in the little things.
A cup of hot tea or hot chocolate with instructions that mama is taking a few minutes of time out and take it. My homeschooling friend, Amy, puts on her red tennis shoes every morning because they bring her a sense of delight – every day.
12. Make time for the things you enjoy and that refresh you.
Whether it be a good book or a hobby - do it.
13. Make a list of things to look forward to
-Schedule a date night with hubby – even if it has to be in your own home.
-How about a game night with the kids?
-An occasional mom’s night out with friends. Real life friends are important.
-A special dinner once a week with all your favorite foods.
14. Make a list of projects to take on.
I usually have a winter project because we spend more time at home. Even if it is just a closet or a few drawers, it is something outside the daily routine. It makes me feel productive in a different way. Involve the kids and it will be more fun! I don’t know if the kids will find my winter project fun – stripping the kitchen wall paper – but you never know.
15. Explore curriculum choices.
Most of us have homeschooling conventions on the horizon. Take the time to get excited about next year, investigate new options/curriculum choices and make plans on where you want to spend your time in the vendor hall.
16. Seek out the homeschooling community on the internet for support.
There are so many wonderful places to find support on the internet - way to many to list but you might try The Swap, The Homeschool Lounge, Heart of the Matter Online when you can't meet with your local homeschoolers for support and fellowship. I doubt you can find a homeschooler that has not experienced burnout. Let others share their ideas to get through this season.
Alas, I’m feeling inspired once again. I'm off to work through the list!
